Bump in the road

I had a dr. appointment this morning - blood work and ultrasound. Everything was going along fine, until I heard my doctor sigh as he was giving me the ultrasound. Then he said that I had a fibroid. Ugh! He said that I didn't have it during the last ultrasound in my last round, so it has grown since then. I had a hysterscope to remove polyps and clean out my uterus, so this is especially frustrating. I am trying to stay positive and not read too much into things.

I'm supposed to stay on my meds (same dosages) and go back in on Monday. At that time I am hoping to get more information. But it looked pretty big when I saw it on the ultrasound and I was reading online (which I promised myself I wouldn't do because I always freak myself out) and most everything I read was doom and gloom. Fibroids can cause an embryo to not implant, or if it does implant then it often causes miscarriage, and if by luck a pregnancy does result it is rare that the baby is carried to term and in most cases has to be delivered by c-section. See? Doom and Gloom!

It doesn't help that I am tired and really emotional. Bobby is obviously disappointed and since we don't really know what is going on we are both feeling crabby about the whole thing. What if they decide that we can't continue? Does this count as our second round? What if we do continue? What are the odds that it will work - I read that they are reduced by 1/3. That's not great since our odds weren't exceptional to start with.

I am a bit of a control freak and it is frustrating not being able to control your own body. I actually felt better about this round because I knew what was happening and what to expect. But I also knew the different things that could go wrong. But I never would have imagined that I would grow a freakin fibroid! I mean c'mon, haven't we had enough roadblocks? This is not a good day. Sorry, hopefully Monday I will have more positive news.