I checked the mail yesterday and was happy to see that little envelope from the Center (ie Dr. Robin's office). I quickly opened it to see what will be in store for us in for 2009.
(Oh, and I hope you are all enjoying my blog's little "facelift" - I was getting bored with the old look and felt like something a little cheerier.)
The upcoming series are: 1) April/May 2) June 3) very end of August/September
4) November
Gosh, when you break the year up like that it doesn't seem like there are a lot of options to choose from. We looked it over and determined the November series is too far away, we want a break, but not that long of a break. I ruled out April mainly because it is so soon (we would start injections 2 days after our follow-up) but also because I have a sneaking suspicion that I will be having another D&C and the April series doesn't give us the time we need to do that. So April's out.
That leaves the June series and the August/Sept. series. Bobby declared the August/September series will interfere with football season (who can blame the guy...both of our series last year interfered with football, so I think he deserves a break). So that leaves us with June.
June should be good because it gives us time to take a little break, allows us to have any necessary "pre-series procedures" (say that five times fast), but is still soon enough that it won't feel like we are waiting forever for our series to start. Yep, June it is....of course this is all dependent on what the Dr. has to say. He may have some suggestions of his own on when we should start again :-)
I forgot to mention a little about what happens after you have a negative beta test...I know I told you that you immediately stop all meds and then your period starts. But I forgot to mention the "readjustment" time. This is the week after your negative test. During this time, you start your period (which if this is too much info, then turn away now because it's only gonna get worse) - this is the mother of all periods. Nobody tells you this...nobody tells you that the massive uterine lining of which you have been building up for the past weeks now has to exit your body in some way. Nobody tells you that in the process you experience pretty bad cramping, similar to if you had eaten bad Chinese food. And there seems to be a little hormone shift that occurs - ie. crabbiness and headaches. Now, had I not been through this before I probably would have thought it was a fluke, but I have had the same experience this time that I had the last time. It's no fun. I will be happy to have my regular life back for awhile. I am happy to report that since stopping my injections I have gleefully lost 5 pounds and am feeling much less lethargic. Woo hoo!
I will post again sometime before my follow-up appointment, and then I will be sharing all that the Dr. has to say after my appointment. For now, I am going to go outside and enjoy a nice, long walk in this beautiful spring weather we are having!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Scheduled my follow-up
Well, my cycle started this morning, so I called my nurse first thing. She asked how I was doing, and I told her that I felt better, but still a little upset. We talked for a bit and then she asked if I had thought about when I wanted to go for the third try. I told her that I didn't have a calendar for the 2009 series since I started both my first and second tries in 2008. The one I had asked for (and received) at one of my earlier appointments turned out to be an old 2008 form. She said that she would send me the 2009 series schedule so I can take a look at it.
She transferred me over to the front desk so that I could make a follow-up appointment with Dr. Robins. I waited on the line and waited on the line, and nobody picked up. So, I got impatient and hung up - I guess I am still feeling a little crabby. They called me back a short time later, and apologized for the wait and told me the earliest appointment they had was 11am on April 15th. Ugh - 3 weeks away. I asked if that was the soonest appointment and she said it was - man this Dr. is a busy guy. So, I took the appointment. I hope Bobby can get off work - I would have tried to make it at a better time, but was scared if I didn't take the first appointment, we would be waiting another month or two to talk to him.
Some of you may be confused at this point because I said that I needed a break from IVF and I wanted to wait a couple months...which is still the case. However, I do want to talk to the dr. so that I can hear why he thinks this last round didn't work, and what he plans to do in the next round. Also, if I have to do a D&C and then wait a month to heal afterwards, I would like to know that information so that I can plan accordingly.
So now I am back to waiting. I am becoming a pro at waiting. Bobby and I talked more about adoption last night. We both knew we would adopt again, so we started to get excited about the process. We also talked about possible things the dr. might say at our follow-up appt. and I began to formulate questions for the meeting we will have with him. If anyone can think of any good questions - let me know. I want to get all the info I can since this is will be our last time trying IVF.
I will probably blog when I get the series schedule, but there isn't a lot to say between now and our appointment.
Until then...
She transferred me over to the front desk so that I could make a follow-up appointment with Dr. Robins. I waited on the line and waited on the line, and nobody picked up. So, I got impatient and hung up - I guess I am still feeling a little crabby. They called me back a short time later, and apologized for the wait and told me the earliest appointment they had was 11am on April 15th. Ugh - 3 weeks away. I asked if that was the soonest appointment and she said it was - man this Dr. is a busy guy. So, I took the appointment. I hope Bobby can get off work - I would have tried to make it at a better time, but was scared if I didn't take the first appointment, we would be waiting another month or two to talk to him.
Some of you may be confused at this point because I said that I needed a break from IVF and I wanted to wait a couple months...which is still the case. However, I do want to talk to the dr. so that I can hear why he thinks this last round didn't work, and what he plans to do in the next round. Also, if I have to do a D&C and then wait a month to heal afterwards, I would like to know that information so that I can plan accordingly.
So now I am back to waiting. I am becoming a pro at waiting. Bobby and I talked more about adoption last night. We both knew we would adopt again, so we started to get excited about the process. We also talked about possible things the dr. might say at our follow-up appt. and I began to formulate questions for the meeting we will have with him. If anyone can think of any good questions - let me know. I want to get all the info I can since this is will be our last time trying IVF.
I will probably blog when I get the series schedule, but there isn't a lot to say between now and our appointment.
Until then...
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Feeling better
Well, it's been 2 1/2 days since my dreaded phone call and I am feeling a little better. I truly was not expecting negative results, although I guess deep down I kind of had a feeling because my body just didn't feel like how I thought I should feel.
Here is what happened: I went in first thing on Friday morning to have my blood drawn. I had forgotten to bring down my orders from my dr. (duh, I know) so I had to call my nurse and ask her to fax them down. She said she would fax them at 7:30am (Boise time). When we got to St. Luke's, they said they didn't have my fax, so we waited and waited and still nothing. Finally the girl that registered me called the emergency nurse line at my dr.'s office and had them fax it down. What a nice lady.
A few minutes later, it arrived and I was whisked back to have my blood drawn. I asked that they make sure they put it through quickly because I was anxious for the results. I knew that my dr.'s office had a few retrievals and transfers so I probably wouldn't be getting my results until the end of the day. I went back to my parent's, hung out for awhile then my sister and I went shopping. I told her I wanted to be back at my parent's house early in the day because last time I got the news at work, during a broadcast and it was horrible. She said we could go home early enough to get the call. We promised the kids "Old McDonald's" for lunch so we stopped in there with the plan to go home afterwards.
It was minutes after we got our food at McDonald's and sat down that I got the call. My nurse said "Miss Jennifer" and by the tone I knew. I started shaking my head "no" and then she said, "it's really not good. It was negative, I'm sorry. Your number was less than 1".
I believe the number has to be at least over 5, so less than 1 means none of the embryos implanted. None. 3 perfect embryos, and not one of them found my uterus inhabitable. (cue my crying). She said to stop all my meds and shots (with the exception of my prenatal because that is always good to take), and to call her the first day of my period and we will talk more and at that time can schedule a follow-up with my dr. to form our plan for the future. I said ok, and thank you.
Why the heck I said "thank you" is beyond me. What was I thanking her for? Thank you for telling me that I have spent over $26,000, sacrificed 8 months of my life, gone through hell and back, complications, heartbreak, pain from shots, ovarian hyper stimulation, 2 cancelled cycles, 5 hysterscopes, 1 d&c, no exercise, limited amounts of sex, no caffeine, no alcohol, time away from my son and husband, time off of work, weight gain, crabbiness, crying, being hopeful and actually convincing myself I might be pregnant - yes, thanks for delivering me the bad news, I guess.
Ok, ok I'm feeling a little better, but apparently I have hit a patch of anger (we've been trying to get pregnant for 6 long years) - this too will subside as I know all too well. I will pick myself back up, I will go through with the third try and I will once again be hopeful...just not yet.
I am planning to take some time off from IVF (maybe 4 months or so). I first have to wait and hear what my dr. says which is another complicated issue. He will most likely say that I cannot go through the stimulation phase again because I have to have another D&C, and my ovarian hyper stimulation means it will probably happen to me again. He might think that my uterus is worse off than he originally thought, and that I might not be able to carry children. Boo for that. Of course, he may say this last try was a fluke and my 3rd try has every chance of success. Let's hope for that.
In the meantime, I am trying to work our finances so that we can start the adoption process again. If anyone wins the lottery, feel free to throw some money my way :-) We have a couple agencies that we are looking into, but I implore anyone reading this to please, please put the word out. We had success with our first adoption through word of mouth and we really believe that is the best way to go. I know some of you are probably thinking, I don't move in circles where people are giving their babies up for adoption. But you would be surprised, we know many couples who adopted from word of mouth. It seems everyone knows a friend of a friend, or a cousin's boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend. If you hear of anything, please consider us and pass on our info.
I will keep posting; this blog as served me well as a release of my stress. My period should be starting any minute (which really just adds insult to injury), so I will be having a discussion with my nurse (which of course I will be posting here), and then I will blog again after we meet with our dr. - which should have all the details of our future plans.
Lastly, thank you all so much for your support. I was wary of letting so many people a) know that we were doing IVF and b) letting so many people view my blog which detailed every step of the way. I have had nothing but positive support and it has meant the world to me.
If you feel like following my blog further, than check back mid-week for the update.
Thanks again....
Here is what happened: I went in first thing on Friday morning to have my blood drawn. I had forgotten to bring down my orders from my dr. (duh, I know) so I had to call my nurse and ask her to fax them down. She said she would fax them at 7:30am (Boise time). When we got to St. Luke's, they said they didn't have my fax, so we waited and waited and still nothing. Finally the girl that registered me called the emergency nurse line at my dr.'s office and had them fax it down. What a nice lady.
A few minutes later, it arrived and I was whisked back to have my blood drawn. I asked that they make sure they put it through quickly because I was anxious for the results. I knew that my dr.'s office had a few retrievals and transfers so I probably wouldn't be getting my results until the end of the day. I went back to my parent's, hung out for awhile then my sister and I went shopping. I told her I wanted to be back at my parent's house early in the day because last time I got the news at work, during a broadcast and it was horrible. She said we could go home early enough to get the call. We promised the kids "Old McDonald's" for lunch so we stopped in there with the plan to go home afterwards.
It was minutes after we got our food at McDonald's and sat down that I got the call. My nurse said "Miss Jennifer" and by the tone I knew. I started shaking my head "no" and then she said, "it's really not good. It was negative, I'm sorry. Your number was less than 1".
I believe the number has to be at least over 5, so less than 1 means none of the embryos implanted. None. 3 perfect embryos, and not one of them found my uterus inhabitable. (cue my crying). She said to stop all my meds and shots (with the exception of my prenatal because that is always good to take), and to call her the first day of my period and we will talk more and at that time can schedule a follow-up with my dr. to form our plan for the future. I said ok, and thank you.
Why the heck I said "thank you" is beyond me. What was I thanking her for? Thank you for telling me that I have spent over $26,000, sacrificed 8 months of my life, gone through hell and back, complications, heartbreak, pain from shots, ovarian hyper stimulation, 2 cancelled cycles, 5 hysterscopes, 1 d&c, no exercise, limited amounts of sex, no caffeine, no alcohol, time away from my son and husband, time off of work, weight gain, crabbiness, crying, being hopeful and actually convincing myself I might be pregnant - yes, thanks for delivering me the bad news, I guess.
Ok, ok I'm feeling a little better, but apparently I have hit a patch of anger (we've been trying to get pregnant for 6 long years) - this too will subside as I know all too well. I will pick myself back up, I will go through with the third try and I will once again be hopeful...just not yet.
I am planning to take some time off from IVF (maybe 4 months or so). I first have to wait and hear what my dr. says which is another complicated issue. He will most likely say that I cannot go through the stimulation phase again because I have to have another D&C, and my ovarian hyper stimulation means it will probably happen to me again. He might think that my uterus is worse off than he originally thought, and that I might not be able to carry children. Boo for that. Of course, he may say this last try was a fluke and my 3rd try has every chance of success. Let's hope for that.
In the meantime, I am trying to work our finances so that we can start the adoption process again. If anyone wins the lottery, feel free to throw some money my way :-) We have a couple agencies that we are looking into, but I implore anyone reading this to please, please put the word out. We had success with our first adoption through word of mouth and we really believe that is the best way to go. I know some of you are probably thinking, I don't move in circles where people are giving their babies up for adoption. But you would be surprised, we know many couples who adopted from word of mouth. It seems everyone knows a friend of a friend, or a cousin's boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend. If you hear of anything, please consider us and pass on our info.
I will keep posting; this blog as served me well as a release of my stress. My period should be starting any minute (which really just adds insult to injury), so I will be having a discussion with my nurse (which of course I will be posting here), and then I will blog again after we meet with our dr. - which should have all the details of our future plans.
Lastly, thank you all so much for your support. I was wary of letting so many people a) know that we were doing IVF and b) letting so many people view my blog which detailed every step of the way. I have had nothing but positive support and it has meant the world to me.
If you feel like following my blog further, than check back mid-week for the update.
Thanks again....
Friday, March 20, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
3 1/2 days to go
We're getting closer to "testing day". I had my progesterone and estrogen check on Sunday. I went to the Pullman blood lab, and even though they said it would take about 3 days for my results, it actually only took one day. My nurse called me yesterday and said my levels looked really good. She gave me the numbers, and normally I would write them down but I was in the car and that wasn't really an option. There are no changes to my meds/shots so that's good.
Now that you know the medical facts, let me share with you a little piece of my life I like to call "anxiously waiting":
I cannot wait for Friday. I am so nervous and excited. I really think I might be pregnant - no, I haven't had any "signs" that lead me to believe this. But by this time last time I was spotting, and (knock on wood) I have had no spotting. Also, by this time last time I was having all of the signs of my period starting and, well this time, the only thing that resembles my period starting is this massive headache that I have had off and on for a day or two now. I know some of you, although rooting for me, might be saying "careful, don't get your hopes up".
But I can't help but think positively and that things will work out. So, yes...you can consider my hopes being way up :-)
My life lately has been waiting (as usual). I have been feeling like a pin cushion - my backside is really sore. Bobby is still doing a great job giving my shots, but now that I am back to work, I am wearing jeans (where at home, I was wearing mainly sweatpants). The jeans rub right on my injections sites and has made them rather tender. Add in the fact that Bobby has playfully smacked me in the ass twice while making dinner the last few days (yes, we are one of those kind of couples that jokes and plays while making dinner together) - and then was quick to apologize when he saw (as he puts it) "the fire in my eyes". He was more than a little scared of me, I guess.
Also, not many of you know this but when I am anxious, I bake. I don't so much bake because I feel the need to eat, in fact I rarely eat the things I make. No, the baking is more of a tension release. Since Sunday I have made: bread, brownies, blue-berry and lemon muffins, and a St. Patty's day cake. Bobby has cut me off from baking because he is the one eating all of this stuff and he can't take it anymore. Connor loves it because he is my helper, which is actually really cute.
Ok, I suppose I have bored you all enough for today :-) I plan to go to St. Luke's (in Boise) first thing Friday morning, probably around 7am, for my blood draw (beta quant. pregnancy test). Hopefully I will hear from my nurse earlier in the day rather than later although it could be as late at 5pm Boise time. The next time I post, it will be with my results!
Till then....
Now that you know the medical facts, let me share with you a little piece of my life I like to call "anxiously waiting":
I cannot wait for Friday. I am so nervous and excited. I really think I might be pregnant - no, I haven't had any "signs" that lead me to believe this. But by this time last time I was spotting, and (knock on wood) I have had no spotting. Also, by this time last time I was having all of the signs of my period starting and, well this time, the only thing that resembles my period starting is this massive headache that I have had off and on for a day or two now. I know some of you, although rooting for me, might be saying "careful, don't get your hopes up".
But I can't help but think positively and that things will work out. So, yes...you can consider my hopes being way up :-)
My life lately has been waiting (as usual). I have been feeling like a pin cushion - my backside is really sore. Bobby is still doing a great job giving my shots, but now that I am back to work, I am wearing jeans (where at home, I was wearing mainly sweatpants). The jeans rub right on my injections sites and has made them rather tender. Add in the fact that Bobby has playfully smacked me in the ass twice while making dinner the last few days (yes, we are one of those kind of couples that jokes and plays while making dinner together) - and then was quick to apologize when he saw (as he puts it) "the fire in my eyes". He was more than a little scared of me, I guess.
Also, not many of you know this but when I am anxious, I bake. I don't so much bake because I feel the need to eat, in fact I rarely eat the things I make. No, the baking is more of a tension release. Since Sunday I have made: bread, brownies, blue-berry and lemon muffins, and a St. Patty's day cake. Bobby has cut me off from baking because he is the one eating all of this stuff and he can't take it anymore. Connor loves it because he is my helper, which is actually really cute.
Ok, I suppose I have bored you all enough for today :-) I plan to go to St. Luke's (in Boise) first thing Friday morning, probably around 7am, for my blood draw (beta quant. pregnancy test). Hopefully I will hear from my nurse earlier in the day rather than later although it could be as late at 5pm Boise time. The next time I post, it will be with my results!
Till then....
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Small update
I don't have too much to update. We're on pins and needles waiting this week out. I haven't had any spotting and just a minor twinge of cramping, so things seem to be going well.
I go in to the Pullman Hospital blood lab first thing tomorrow morning to have my progesterone and estrogen checked. I can't think of any reason why they wouldn't be fine, but even if there is an issue, I will just be instructed to alter my pills and shot.
Bobby and I have been playing the "what if" game. What if all 3 were to implant, how would we manage? What if we have twins, what if it's just one, what if it's none.......I think the planning for all scenarios has helped us cope with the waiting.
I have been bored out of my mind, so I know that I am really taking it easy. I am also overly cautious. I haven't had a hot shower in a week (brrr....) and where I usually put a heating pad on my injection site...I have opted not to do that this time for fear of overheating my core. I know, I sound like a crazy person. But last time I didn't take these extra percautions, and I don't want to wonder this time if it was something I could have avoided.
There was a small part of me that thought I would stop blogging at this point, and just have the transfer be the end of my story. But I didn't get the best reaction when I mentioned that to a few people, and to be honest when I started this blog it was for better or worse...I would share with whoever felt like reading my ramblings, up until there was nothing left to share. So, not to worry...you will be getting the update on Friday. When I know, you'll know.
I'll probably blog once more before then, because frankly, this is the only thing I have been able to think about. Till next time...
I go in to the Pullman Hospital blood lab first thing tomorrow morning to have my progesterone and estrogen checked. I can't think of any reason why they wouldn't be fine, but even if there is an issue, I will just be instructed to alter my pills and shot.
Bobby and I have been playing the "what if" game. What if all 3 were to implant, how would we manage? What if we have twins, what if it's just one, what if it's none.......I think the planning for all scenarios has helped us cope with the waiting.
I have been bored out of my mind, so I know that I am really taking it easy. I am also overly cautious. I haven't had a hot shower in a week (brrr....) and where I usually put a heating pad on my injection site...I have opted not to do that this time for fear of overheating my core. I know, I sound like a crazy person. But last time I didn't take these extra percautions, and I don't want to wonder this time if it was something I could have avoided.
There was a small part of me that thought I would stop blogging at this point, and just have the transfer be the end of my story. But I didn't get the best reaction when I mentioned that to a few people, and to be honest when I started this blog it was for better or worse...I would share with whoever felt like reading my ramblings, up until there was nothing left to share. So, not to worry...you will be getting the update on Friday. When I know, you'll know.
I'll probably blog once more before then, because frankly, this is the only thing I have been able to think about. Till next time...
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Home from Transfer
Well, we are home from the transfer. Everything went pretty smoothly, which for us is a miracle in and of itself. Get prepared, this is kind of a long blog.
We started driving up there at 7am. The roads were horrible, we had this blizzard the night before and the roads were soooo slick. We were running late and I was stressing a little about missing the whole thing. Debbie, one of the nurses called me at 8:55 and asked how close we were. I told her we were still about a half hour away and she said that was perfect. That I should start drinking my 32 ounces of water at 9 and have it completely finished at 9:15am. We would proceed with the transfer when we got there at 9:30. I guzzled my water and surprisingly didn't feel full or uncomfortable from the full bladder, which was nice.
We got there at 9:30, I had to really go to the bathroom at this point, but still not really too uncomfortable. My nurse comes into our exam room and checks blood pressure, pulse, etc. Everything was fine and she said the dr. would be in momentarily. We waited for what seemed like forever - at this point I had changed into my little smock, robe, sticky backed socks, and lovely blue hair net thingy.
The doctor finally came in and had our little picture of the embryos that he was planning to transfer. 3 little embryos......
That's right people - we transferred back 3!
My dr. said that they thawed (and I am using the word thawed because when I explained this to my sister, I used the term defrosted and she thought while funny, maybe sounded a little weird).
Anywho, there were 3 embryos in that straw and all of them thawed beautifully. They were all 3 high quality, grade 1 AA or 1 1 A or whatever the best grading is. The dr. said they were really great quality, he was excited that they looked so great. Then he started to leave....Um, wait a minute there doc. I quickly asked him how many of the 3 he planned to transfer back (he hadn't mentioned it yet), he looked at me and smiled and said, "well all 3, of course", as if putting 3 beings back in my body should have been a normal daily occurrence or something.
Bobby and I sat stunned for a moment, then I double checked about the 3 embryos. The dr. said that a frozen transfer has a slightly lower chance of success and since they thawed 3 and all 3 looked great, they wanted to transfer all back and not waste one. Plus he had seen some "rocky terrain" in my uterus the day before at my ultrasound which meant that I did indeed need 3 to hopefully have the chance at one. We smiled and said, ok. What else can you do?
So a couple of minutes later, they came and got me and sent Bobby to waiting room. They took my back to the little operating room and had me lay on the table for an ultrasound. They needed to check to see how full my bladder was and if it was pushing my uterus into the proper position. Well my bladder was overfull. So they sent me to the bathroom with the little plastic keg cup and told me to fill it once, dump it, fill it again, dump it and come back. So I did...don't try it at home - it is not fun to start and stop that many times when you really got to go.
I went back in, they did another ultrasound, still too full. They told me to fill the cup twice again. Ugh! Back I go to the bathroom. The remarks about how I have a huge bladder and I'm a rock star for holding that much liquid didn't help, but did make me think it must be from those days at the U of I :-) I get back for yet another ultrasound and....still too full. Are you freakin kidding me!?! This time she draws a line on the cup. I am to fill the cup to the line, and then stop. That should be good, she says. Easy for you to say...so off I go for yet another bathroom visit. I get back and this time, we are good to go. Hallelujah!
They put my legs in the large leg stirrups, hit the overhead lights, and turned on the va-j-j spotlight. They tell me to look at the monitor on my left (I am familiar with this procedure since we've done this once before, but still it was nice to be reminded of what to do). On the monitor on the left they show me my name on this petri dish and in the dish, forming a perfect triangle, were my little embryos. They verified that it was indeed me, and those were indeed my embryos (don't want to put the wrong item back on the shelf, if you know what I mean.)
So I wait while the the dr. cleans everything "down there" and prepares my body for the transfer. I see on the monitor that the embryologist is sucking the embryos into this large needle, and then I look at the door and in walks the embryologist with said needle. He hands the needle to the dr., who puts the needle in the catheter. Now I am instructed to watch the monitor on my right (this is the ultrasound monitor). I am about to witness the embryos being put into my uterus. I see the end of the needle come up on the monitor and then I see this gush of liquid being pushed into my squished down uterus. That's it. They are in there.
After the procedure, they have me lay in the recovery room for 20 minutes. Bobby came in and we tried to make small talk. We've been here before...we are excited, nervous, excited, hopeful, did I say excited? After 20 minutes, they let me use the bathroom (finally I get to finish going), and then they send me on my way.
I have my instructions to get my progesterone and estrogen levels checked on Monday the 15th. I can do this at the blood lab at the Pullman hospital. My Beta Quant. (first pregnancy test) was scheduled for the 19th. Unfortunately we are going to Boise that evening (Bobby has tickets to the NCAA) and since the first 2 pregnancy tests have to be done at the same lab, we had a little issue. It was decided that I would take my first pregnancy test in Boise at St. Lukes hospital on Friday morning (the 20th), and then if there was need (ie, if the test is positive) I will take the second test there on Sunday. Reminder: the first test has to show elevated numbers, and the second test has to show the numbers are doubled. Last time I didn't make it to the second test. Let's hope that isn't the case this time.
I no longer take all the pills that I was taking. My new regimen is now: 2 Estrace at 7am and 7pm, 1 baby aspirin, 1 prenatal, and my progesterone shot. The rules are: No sex, no exercise, no caffeine, no alcohol, no hot showers or baths or anything that will disrupt my core temperature. So that's not too bad.
We went to a hotel in Spokane. The dr. says to rest for the day of transfer and they don't like you to travel for more than an hour. So my mom flew up to take care of Connor and Bobby and I had a mini vacation at a hotel in Spokane. We rented 3 ppv movies and layed in bed. It was nice, but it's hard to lay in bed when you are feeling fine and antsy. The dr. says you can resume normal activities the next day. I have decided to rest, alot. Last time, I resumed and had spotting and no pregnancy. I think I know my body well enough to know that I need to take it easy. So for the next few days, while I am not on bed rest, I am taking it really easy. No work, no DG, no lifting, no stress... Hopefully that will help.
I will blog again in a day or two to let you all know how it's going. This is a day by day thing now. Every twinge I feel is ultra-analyzed by Bobby and myself. I am always checking for spotting. Do my boobs feel sore today, is that I good sign or a bad sign? Hmmm, I feel more tired today - what does that mean? At least that is the process we went through last time. Maybe I will be more laid back this time.
In the meantime, here is a picture of our 3 embryos :-)
We started driving up there at 7am. The roads were horrible, we had this blizzard the night before and the roads were soooo slick. We were running late and I was stressing a little about missing the whole thing. Debbie, one of the nurses called me at 8:55 and asked how close we were. I told her we were still about a half hour away and she said that was perfect. That I should start drinking my 32 ounces of water at 9 and have it completely finished at 9:15am. We would proceed with the transfer when we got there at 9:30. I guzzled my water and surprisingly didn't feel full or uncomfortable from the full bladder, which was nice.
We got there at 9:30, I had to really go to the bathroom at this point, but still not really too uncomfortable. My nurse comes into our exam room and checks blood pressure, pulse, etc. Everything was fine and she said the dr. would be in momentarily. We waited for what seemed like forever - at this point I had changed into my little smock, robe, sticky backed socks, and lovely blue hair net thingy.
The doctor finally came in and had our little picture of the embryos that he was planning to transfer. 3 little embryos......
That's right people - we transferred back 3!
My dr. said that they thawed (and I am using the word thawed because when I explained this to my sister, I used the term defrosted and she thought while funny, maybe sounded a little weird).
Anywho, there were 3 embryos in that straw and all of them thawed beautifully. They were all 3 high quality, grade 1 AA or 1 1 A or whatever the best grading is. The dr. said they were really great quality, he was excited that they looked so great. Then he started to leave....Um, wait a minute there doc. I quickly asked him how many of the 3 he planned to transfer back (he hadn't mentioned it yet), he looked at me and smiled and said, "well all 3, of course", as if putting 3 beings back in my body should have been a normal daily occurrence or something.
Bobby and I sat stunned for a moment, then I double checked about the 3 embryos. The dr. said that a frozen transfer has a slightly lower chance of success and since they thawed 3 and all 3 looked great, they wanted to transfer all back and not waste one. Plus he had seen some "rocky terrain" in my uterus the day before at my ultrasound which meant that I did indeed need 3 to hopefully have the chance at one. We smiled and said, ok. What else can you do?
So a couple of minutes later, they came and got me and sent Bobby to waiting room. They took my back to the little operating room and had me lay on the table for an ultrasound. They needed to check to see how full my bladder was and if it was pushing my uterus into the proper position. Well my bladder was overfull. So they sent me to the bathroom with the little plastic keg cup and told me to fill it once, dump it, fill it again, dump it and come back. So I did...don't try it at home - it is not fun to start and stop that many times when you really got to go.
I went back in, they did another ultrasound, still too full. They told me to fill the cup twice again. Ugh! Back I go to the bathroom. The remarks about how I have a huge bladder and I'm a rock star for holding that much liquid didn't help, but did make me think it must be from those days at the U of I :-) I get back for yet another ultrasound and....still too full. Are you freakin kidding me!?! This time she draws a line on the cup. I am to fill the cup to the line, and then stop. That should be good, she says. Easy for you to say...so off I go for yet another bathroom visit. I get back and this time, we are good to go. Hallelujah!
They put my legs in the large leg stirrups, hit the overhead lights, and turned on the va-j-j spotlight. They tell me to look at the monitor on my left (I am familiar with this procedure since we've done this once before, but still it was nice to be reminded of what to do). On the monitor on the left they show me my name on this petri dish and in the dish, forming a perfect triangle, were my little embryos. They verified that it was indeed me, and those were indeed my embryos (don't want to put the wrong item back on the shelf, if you know what I mean.)
So I wait while the the dr. cleans everything "down there" and prepares my body for the transfer. I see on the monitor that the embryologist is sucking the embryos into this large needle, and then I look at the door and in walks the embryologist with said needle. He hands the needle to the dr., who puts the needle in the catheter. Now I am instructed to watch the monitor on my right (this is the ultrasound monitor). I am about to witness the embryos being put into my uterus. I see the end of the needle come up on the monitor and then I see this gush of liquid being pushed into my squished down uterus. That's it. They are in there.
After the procedure, they have me lay in the recovery room for 20 minutes. Bobby came in and we tried to make small talk. We've been here before...we are excited, nervous, excited, hopeful, did I say excited? After 20 minutes, they let me use the bathroom (finally I get to finish going), and then they send me on my way.
I have my instructions to get my progesterone and estrogen levels checked on Monday the 15th. I can do this at the blood lab at the Pullman hospital. My Beta Quant. (first pregnancy test) was scheduled for the 19th. Unfortunately we are going to Boise that evening (Bobby has tickets to the NCAA) and since the first 2 pregnancy tests have to be done at the same lab, we had a little issue. It was decided that I would take my first pregnancy test in Boise at St. Lukes hospital on Friday morning (the 20th), and then if there was need (ie, if the test is positive) I will take the second test there on Sunday. Reminder: the first test has to show elevated numbers, and the second test has to show the numbers are doubled. Last time I didn't make it to the second test. Let's hope that isn't the case this time.
I no longer take all the pills that I was taking. My new regimen is now: 2 Estrace at 7am and 7pm, 1 baby aspirin, 1 prenatal, and my progesterone shot. The rules are: No sex, no exercise, no caffeine, no alcohol, no hot showers or baths or anything that will disrupt my core temperature. So that's not too bad.
We went to a hotel in Spokane. The dr. says to rest for the day of transfer and they don't like you to travel for more than an hour. So my mom flew up to take care of Connor and Bobby and I had a mini vacation at a hotel in Spokane. We rented 3 ppv movies and layed in bed. It was nice, but it's hard to lay in bed when you are feeling fine and antsy. The dr. says you can resume normal activities the next day. I have decided to rest, alot. Last time, I resumed and had spotting and no pregnancy. I think I know my body well enough to know that I need to take it easy. So for the next few days, while I am not on bed rest, I am taking it really easy. No work, no DG, no lifting, no stress... Hopefully that will help.
I will blog again in a day or two to let you all know how it's going. This is a day by day thing now. Every twinge I feel is ultra-analyzed by Bobby and myself. I am always checking for spotting. Do my boobs feel sore today, is that I good sign or a bad sign? Hmmm, I feel more tired today - what does that mean? At least that is the process we went through last time. Maybe I will be more laid back this time.
In the meantime, here is a picture of our 3 embryos :-)
Monday, March 9, 2009
Transfer tomorrow!
Well, we are set for transfer tomorrow. They have several retrievals but only 2 transfers, so they told us to be there, ready to go at 9am for a 9:30 transfer. Woo hoo! I can't believe the day is finally here - I think it's safe to say I definitely have my hopes and I am feeling really good about this transfer.
Today's appointment went fine and I am to continue on everything until tomorrow. I have to take my 32 ounces of water in the car with me, so I can start drinking when my nurse calls. (in case you haven't been tuning in, or have forgotten, the water is so that your bladder gets full enough that it pushes your uterus down into the optimal position)
When talking to my nurse she didn't indicate that anything would be standing in our way, so let's hope to high heaven that nothing comes up between now and tomorrow morning.
They will start to thaw the embryos in the morning. They thaw one straw at a time (there could be several in a straw) and evaluate how the embryos look and then determine if they should thaw more. The dr. will report to us how many they thawed and what their "grades" are. The grades are sort of like diamonds, some are better than other based on clarity, depth, etc. Did I just compare my embryos to diamonds? Um, k that was a weird analogy, but still...it's pretty accurate.
My nurse asked us what our preference is for how many to put back. This is just a preference and doesn't mean that is the number that they will put back. I told her our preference was 2 (since one or two is what they will put back about 98% of the time) but told her if the dr. thought that 3 would be better - because of all the polyps, blood clots, scar tissue and God knows what else is growing in my uterus taking up good quality real estate, that we would be open to transferring 3.
Now, don't freak out on me thinking I've gone all Octumom on you. I just want our best odds and we were told after our last transfer that because of all of our issues, 3 might be our only chance at conceiving 1. So it's all a numbers game, and I'm just trying to find the best odds without having to give birth to a litter. We decided that we would defer to the dr. and let him make the call.
I'm going radio silent tomorrow, but will be back with the post-transfer blog on Wednesday. That is assuming nothing gets in the way of this transfer, in which case I will be ranting and raving via blog tomorrow :-)
Thanks for all of the positive thoughts and good wishes. I feel blessed to have the support of such wonderful people and hope that this time I will get to share some good news.
Today's appointment went fine and I am to continue on everything until tomorrow. I have to take my 32 ounces of water in the car with me, so I can start drinking when my nurse calls. (in case you haven't been tuning in, or have forgotten, the water is so that your bladder gets full enough that it pushes your uterus down into the optimal position)
When talking to my nurse she didn't indicate that anything would be standing in our way, so let's hope to high heaven that nothing comes up between now and tomorrow morning.
They will start to thaw the embryos in the morning. They thaw one straw at a time (there could be several in a straw) and evaluate how the embryos look and then determine if they should thaw more. The dr. will report to us how many they thawed and what their "grades" are. The grades are sort of like diamonds, some are better than other based on clarity, depth, etc. Did I just compare my embryos to diamonds? Um, k that was a weird analogy, but still...it's pretty accurate.
My nurse asked us what our preference is for how many to put back. This is just a preference and doesn't mean that is the number that they will put back. I told her our preference was 2 (since one or two is what they will put back about 98% of the time) but told her if the dr. thought that 3 would be better - because of all the polyps, blood clots, scar tissue and God knows what else is growing in my uterus taking up good quality real estate, that we would be open to transferring 3.
Now, don't freak out on me thinking I've gone all Octumom on you. I just want our best odds and we were told after our last transfer that because of all of our issues, 3 might be our only chance at conceiving 1. So it's all a numbers game, and I'm just trying to find the best odds without having to give birth to a litter. We decided that we would defer to the dr. and let him make the call.
I'm going radio silent tomorrow, but will be back with the post-transfer blog on Wednesday. That is assuming nothing gets in the way of this transfer, in which case I will be ranting and raving via blog tomorrow :-)
Thanks for all of the positive thoughts and good wishes. I feel blessed to have the support of such wonderful people and hope that this time I will get to share some good news.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Big shot and appointment tomorrow
Hello all! Well, my progesterone shot has been going ok. Bobby did great the first night, didn't hurt at all. But the next night, although he check for blood in the needle, he somehow nicked a vein and it hurt like a son-of-an-OW! I did not enjoy it and he felt horrible. Surprisingly, it only hurt for a short while and then all was well again.
Last night, Bobby went to the basketball game so Marlene (my Mil) came over and gave me my shot. She had never done it before, but after counting a few times and several deep breaths (on her part), and Connor in the background shouting "do it, do it, do it", she finally did it. It stung a little because she plunged the meds in too fast, but other than that she did a good job. Progesterone needs to go in a little slower because they put the drug in oil (I think mine is peanut oil). It sounds gross, but if you push the meds through too fast it really stings - Alot!
I have had a little Snafu with my pills. I thought to expedite things I would take all my am pills at the same time and all of pm pills at the same time. My body didn't agree with me on this idea and has decided to protest in the form of massive cramping in my stomach area. Today I decided to take my 7 am pills on time, wait 2 hours and then take the rest. I am now taking my prenatal vitamin around noon, because I suspect it was my prenatal vitamin mixed with my doxycyclene that caused my problem. Then my night time meds, I am splitting up into several hours as well. It feels like I am taking pills all day, but it does seem to be helping.
I did have a minor freak out yesterday because I thought maybe I was getting the flu - which means my transfer would have been delayed or cancelled. You can imagine my hysteria. But after reading the side effects of all the pills I am taking I am certain that is the issue.
I have my last blood draw and ultrasound tomorrow - woo hoo! I am so excited, this week has gone by really fast (and I thought it would go by slowly). Bobby and I have kept busy over the weekend doing little projects on the house, which has helped.
Tomorrow, I should have a general idea for when they will want us in Spokane on Tuesday. She said they will probably do the transfer in the afternoon, but the exact time will depend on how the embryos thaw. Someone told me that when you have a frozen embryo transfer they call that baby a "snowflake baby" which I think is fitting because if this works (cross my fingers) than this baby would be due in the wintertime :-)
I feel better prepared going into this transfer. It is always nice to know what to expect. I think I might be able to be a little more calm during the waiting time for our "beta" test (ie, very early pregnancy test). Last time I had spotting, which freaked me out - but I was told it could be many many things. But the thing that was the hardest was being told that based on my numbers they could tell that one of the embryos had implanted for at least a day or two - so for a day or two, I was pregnant. Is sucks to find that out the same day you start your period. And I hope to heaven that isn't the case this time.
I will update more tomorrow. I am actually going into work tomorrow after my appointment. Since I am going to take the rest of the week off, I think I ought to get a little work done.
Till tomorrow.....
Last night, Bobby went to the basketball game so Marlene (my Mil) came over and gave me my shot. She had never done it before, but after counting a few times and several deep breaths (on her part), and Connor in the background shouting "do it, do it, do it", she finally did it. It stung a little because she plunged the meds in too fast, but other than that she did a good job. Progesterone needs to go in a little slower because they put the drug in oil (I think mine is peanut oil). It sounds gross, but if you push the meds through too fast it really stings - Alot!
I have had a little Snafu with my pills. I thought to expedite things I would take all my am pills at the same time and all of pm pills at the same time. My body didn't agree with me on this idea and has decided to protest in the form of massive cramping in my stomach area. Today I decided to take my 7 am pills on time, wait 2 hours and then take the rest. I am now taking my prenatal vitamin around noon, because I suspect it was my prenatal vitamin mixed with my doxycyclene that caused my problem. Then my night time meds, I am splitting up into several hours as well. It feels like I am taking pills all day, but it does seem to be helping.
I did have a minor freak out yesterday because I thought maybe I was getting the flu - which means my transfer would have been delayed or cancelled. You can imagine my hysteria. But after reading the side effects of all the pills I am taking I am certain that is the issue.
I have my last blood draw and ultrasound tomorrow - woo hoo! I am so excited, this week has gone by really fast (and I thought it would go by slowly). Bobby and I have kept busy over the weekend doing little projects on the house, which has helped.
Tomorrow, I should have a general idea for when they will want us in Spokane on Tuesday. She said they will probably do the transfer in the afternoon, but the exact time will depend on how the embryos thaw. Someone told me that when you have a frozen embryo transfer they call that baby a "snowflake baby" which I think is fitting because if this works (cross my fingers) than this baby would be due in the wintertime :-)
I feel better prepared going into this transfer. It is always nice to know what to expect. I think I might be able to be a little more calm during the waiting time for our "beta" test (ie, very early pregnancy test). Last time I had spotting, which freaked me out - but I was told it could be many many things. But the thing that was the hardest was being told that based on my numbers they could tell that one of the embryos had implanted for at least a day or two - so for a day or two, I was pregnant. Is sucks to find that out the same day you start your period. And I hope to heaven that isn't the case this time.
I will update more tomorrow. I am actually going into work tomorrow after my appointment. Since I am going to take the rest of the week off, I think I ought to get a little work done.
Till tomorrow.....
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Normal
Normal...that's what my appointment was today - thank goodness! When my nurse called she was happy to report to me that everything was right on track today and there were no hurdles in the way - my transfer is 99% set for Tuesday!
I drove up there this morning - the roads were fine going up but I hit the winter storm on my way down. It is currently a blizzard outside my house. Figures...I do live on the Palouse. Last year it snowed in June.
Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. I got to my appointment about 5 minutes early and to my surprise the waiting room was full - they even pulled out the extra chairs. I guess I didn't know what I was talking about when I said there wouldn't be much of a wait at my appointments this time.
So I checked in, and I grabbed a copy of the sheet that lists the upcoming IVF series. I know some of you are probably thinking, "why do you need to know the dates for future IVF...this transfer will work". And I'm right there with ya - I think this transfer will work. But I didn't have a sheet that listed future dates and I know that if for some reason this transfer didn't work, I would really want to be able to plan when to do the final round. I'm a planner, it's in my genes - it gives me comfort. Anyway, I grab that sheet and take a seat. Shortly after I get there, Nicole arrives. Yay! So nice to chat with someone while we wait. She starts her shots tonight - Go Nicole, I know you'll do great :-)
Anyway, I got the new guy again for my blood draw. He tells me, as I sit down, that he's had a hard time finding people's veins all morning - "those little buggers just disappear when I get the needle in" (huh?!?). Despite my lack of confidence in him, I told him I thought he would do just fine - it hurt, a lot...but the poor guy needed a little esteem booster (and I'm a pleaser), so I told him he did great. He smiled from ear to ear. I'd like to believe that gave him the boost he needed to succeed with the patients that followed me.
My ultrasound was quick and easy. Everything looked A-OK. So I drove home, and relieved Bobby (Connor is home with me today and tomorrow, so Bobby was watching him until I got home). I'm feeling good today. Not too tired or irritable. I'm in the home stretch now, so that probably has helped my mood.
My nurse called and we cheered together because things were going good so far. I told her I was relieved because we've been doing this round since November and she said she knows, and that they talked about me in their morning meeting. She told them, "let's get this girl some good news!" and I sure hope they can :-)
I was instructed to stop my Lupron shots -yay! No more belly shots. But my big Bobby hip/rear shots start tonight (progesterone). Here is my new schedule:
7am: 1 baby aspirin, 2 mg (tablets) of Estrace, AND 1 tablet of doxycyclene
7pm: 2 tablets Estrace, Prenatal vitamin AND 1 tablet doxycyclene AND 16 mg Medrol (1 tablet)
8:30pm: Progesterone shot given to me by Bobby. I am just choosing this time now, but this is actually the only thing they allow you to choose the time on. Once you choose your time you have to give the shot at that exact time every night. Last time we did 7:30pm and this really interfered with our evening, so I'm thinking 8:30pm would be a better time.
I will write more tomorrow or Saturday and let you all know how my big shot goes. Bobby is normally so great at giving these. Let's hope he didn't lose his touch. I don't go back to the Dr. until Monday. That will be my last appointment before transfer.
Here is a pic of my new daily regimen and a lovely one of the huge needle that I get to use tonight :-)
I drove up there this morning - the roads were fine going up but I hit the winter storm on my way down. It is currently a blizzard outside my house. Figures...I do live on the Palouse. Last year it snowed in June.
Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. I got to my appointment about 5 minutes early and to my surprise the waiting room was full - they even pulled out the extra chairs. I guess I didn't know what I was talking about when I said there wouldn't be much of a wait at my appointments this time.
So I checked in, and I grabbed a copy of the sheet that lists the upcoming IVF series. I know some of you are probably thinking, "why do you need to know the dates for future IVF...this transfer will work". And I'm right there with ya - I think this transfer will work. But I didn't have a sheet that listed future dates and I know that if for some reason this transfer didn't work, I would really want to be able to plan when to do the final round. I'm a planner, it's in my genes - it gives me comfort. Anyway, I grab that sheet and take a seat. Shortly after I get there, Nicole arrives. Yay! So nice to chat with someone while we wait. She starts her shots tonight - Go Nicole, I know you'll do great :-)
Anyway, I got the new guy again for my blood draw. He tells me, as I sit down, that he's had a hard time finding people's veins all morning - "those little buggers just disappear when I get the needle in" (huh?!?). Despite my lack of confidence in him, I told him I thought he would do just fine - it hurt, a lot...but the poor guy needed a little esteem booster (and I'm a pleaser), so I told him he did great. He smiled from ear to ear. I'd like to believe that gave him the boost he needed to succeed with the patients that followed me.
My ultrasound was quick and easy. Everything looked A-OK. So I drove home, and relieved Bobby (Connor is home with me today and tomorrow, so Bobby was watching him until I got home). I'm feeling good today. Not too tired or irritable. I'm in the home stretch now, so that probably has helped my mood.
My nurse called and we cheered together because things were going good so far. I told her I was relieved because we've been doing this round since November and she said she knows, and that they talked about me in their morning meeting. She told them, "let's get this girl some good news!" and I sure hope they can :-)
I was instructed to stop my Lupron shots -yay! No more belly shots. But my big Bobby hip/rear shots start tonight (progesterone). Here is my new schedule:
7am: 1 baby aspirin, 2 mg (tablets) of Estrace, AND 1 tablet of doxycyclene
7pm: 2 tablets Estrace, Prenatal vitamin AND 1 tablet doxycyclene AND 16 mg Medrol (1 tablet)
8:30pm: Progesterone shot given to me by Bobby. I am just choosing this time now, but this is actually the only thing they allow you to choose the time on. Once you choose your time you have to give the shot at that exact time every night. Last time we did 7:30pm and this really interfered with our evening, so I'm thinking 8:30pm would be a better time.
I will write more tomorrow or Saturday and let you all know how my big shot goes. Bobby is normally so great at giving these. Let's hope he didn't lose his touch. I don't go back to the Dr. until Monday. That will be my last appointment before transfer.
Here is a pic of my new daily regimen and a lovely one of the huge needle that I get to use tonight :-)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
One Week To Go...
One week from today is transfer day! I know I complained a lot about waiting, but now we are in the home stretch and I couldn't be more excited.
And I am happy to say that I am a little less tired lately - although I've been making it a point to go to bed about an hour earlier than I normally do. Maybe that has something to do with it? I do have a new side effect: I have completely lost my mind....I can't seem to remember anything and I am normally not like that.
In the past week I have: put the milk in the pantry (twice), gone to my bedroom to get something and forgotten what it was by the time I got there (almost daily), lost my keys for a week and then found them in plain site on the kitchen counter, left my cell phone in my cart outside of Walmart and was happy that a nice man found it and it was returned to me later that day, and finally...this morning I forgot to drop Connor off at daycare! I was about 7 minutes into my drive when I hear this little voice in the back seat ask me where we are going. I just looked at him and said I had no idea where we were going, and turned the car around to take him to Monica's. See? Losing my mind.
I have been really good about taking time from work to remain stress free, but for some reason my home life hasn't followed suit. We decided to move Connor to a big boy bed, then when he was settled there, we decided it was time to potty train. Now that potty training is getting easier, Bobby decides to spring on me that he thinks we should build a new house. What !?! We've had this discussion a million times and I thought we had decided to remodel/add on to our current house. I have no idea when he changed his mind and why the heck he decided to tell me this 2 minutes before we left for work this morning. He left me with, "don't stress about it, just mull it over - but I want to decide soon". I thought I was going to have a no-worries month, boy was I wrong!
I will write again on Thursday after my appointment - I'm so excited that Nicole will be there also :-)
Till Thursday....
And I am happy to say that I am a little less tired lately - although I've been making it a point to go to bed about an hour earlier than I normally do. Maybe that has something to do with it? I do have a new side effect: I have completely lost my mind....I can't seem to remember anything and I am normally not like that.
In the past week I have: put the milk in the pantry (twice), gone to my bedroom to get something and forgotten what it was by the time I got there (almost daily), lost my keys for a week and then found them in plain site on the kitchen counter, left my cell phone in my cart outside of Walmart and was happy that a nice man found it and it was returned to me later that day, and finally...this morning I forgot to drop Connor off at daycare! I was about 7 minutes into my drive when I hear this little voice in the back seat ask me where we are going. I just looked at him and said I had no idea where we were going, and turned the car around to take him to Monica's. See? Losing my mind.
I have been really good about taking time from work to remain stress free, but for some reason my home life hasn't followed suit. We decided to move Connor to a big boy bed, then when he was settled there, we decided it was time to potty train. Now that potty training is getting easier, Bobby decides to spring on me that he thinks we should build a new house. What !?! We've had this discussion a million times and I thought we had decided to remodel/add on to our current house. I have no idea when he changed his mind and why the heck he decided to tell me this 2 minutes before we left for work this morning. He left me with, "don't stress about it, just mull it over - but I want to decide soon". I thought I was going to have a no-worries month, boy was I wrong!
I will write again on Thursday after my appointment - I'm so excited that Nicole will be there also :-)
Till Thursday....
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