That stands for 2 week wait for those of you that don't speak infertile. It should be called the 2 worst weeks of waiting EVER!!! It is seriously torture waiting to take the beta test (pregnancy test).
I have decided that while I will report the outcome of this IVF round, I am not going to share the exact day that I go in for my test. I appreciate all the support I get and please, please keep praying for us. It's just...the first IVF, I got the call with my results while I was at work, late in the afternoon. I wasn't blogging then, so I had to call and relay the info to family and friends. That pretty much sucked!
The second round of IVF, I blogged. Which was a great because I didn't have to make the million phone calls. However, I was in Boise for the weekend, so I got the call while I was at McDonalds...which.....pretty much sucked. And everyone was waiting on pins and needles to find out the results, I felt obligated to instantly update the blog even though I felt really really terrible.
This time my plan is to go to my appointment quietly...no fanfare...go home and wait for my results. This way, if the results are not great, then I can grieve...by myself... where I can reflect on this process and get myself to a place where I can look to the future. If the results are positive, I will be holding my breath for 2 days until I can take the second test, and once I know I am pregnant for sure, I will shout it from the roof tops. I know the secrecy may seem silly but it is what feels right to me at this time.
Oh, I have had some symptoms during this 2ww, some good...some bad. I have had cramping and bloating, which I view as good because I am not really a crampy before my period kind of girl. Implantation maybe!?! However, I did breakout on my face a bit - in the exact same spot I always break out right before my period starts - Ugh! That's not a good symptom. Other than that, I feel pretty normal. I am getting more and more anxious for testing day to arrive and hope and pray that this time will be my time...that this time I won't hear the words "Miss Jennifer, it's not good honey".
Till next time....
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Day after
Today is the day after transfer. After all this time and with our track record, you would think I would be able to relay some story about the terrible things that went wrong on transfer day and how we are dealing with them...only this time there is nothing to relay. In fact transfer day went by without any complications (weird for us) and even had some perks.
So, we went in and were told that we still had 5 embies going. 3 were perfect, perfect, the highest grading you can get for a day 5. The 4th one was nearly perfect and the 5th was lagging. We talked to the Doc about our options - how many to transfer, freeze, etc. We asked him if he would still recommend transferring more than 3 and he said no. Because these embies are such good quality and they are fresh (versus the frozen we transferred last time) that he wouldn't want to risk transferring 4. We took the Doc's advice and stuck with transferring 3 (which is a rare thing at this clinic anyway). The other 2 will continue to grow and then based on their quality we will decided whether or not to freeze them.
At this point I had already consumed my 32 ounces of water and was feeling the need to go...Finally I was taken into the op room and had to empty my bladder 2 and a half times. I guessed it would be 3 times based on how uncomfortable I was, but 2 and a half is still a lot. The transfer went smoothly. Oddly quiet. With really pretty music in the background.
I waited in the recovery room for the 20 minutes they let you lay still. Then they let us leave. Simple as that. No drama. Weird...for us anyway.
We went and checked into a hotel. We had stayed at this particular hotel once before, and found it to have everything we needed. By that I mean, room service, clean comfy beds, and pay per view movies. Unfortunately once we were checked into said room, we opened the armoire to find a teeny tiny tv and no pay per view. Aw man...down to the lobby Bobby went (that's funny, lobby Bobby haha) anyway, he fought with them and needless to say we left that particular hotel and ended up at a different hotel that assured us they had ppv. Bobby was a little tense and mentioned I was pretty much on bed rest. I think they sensed his tension because they had us upgraded to a suite for free. Sa- weeeet! The hotel stay was wonderful and relaxing. We caught up on movies we had been wanting to see. I ate my pineapple that I had carted there in a cooler. General happiness was the mood.
My blogs aren't nearly as funny when things go smoothly and I can't remark snarkely on events, but I can say that I'm happy things have finally, finally gone right for once. Maybe this is a sign of things to come. I am taking it really easy today, and tomorrow I will work from home so I can rest throughout the day.
I am sure I will be updating throughout these long days of waiting....Till then....
So, we went in and were told that we still had 5 embies going. 3 were perfect, perfect, the highest grading you can get for a day 5. The 4th one was nearly perfect and the 5th was lagging. We talked to the Doc about our options - how many to transfer, freeze, etc. We asked him if he would still recommend transferring more than 3 and he said no. Because these embies are such good quality and they are fresh (versus the frozen we transferred last time) that he wouldn't want to risk transferring 4. We took the Doc's advice and stuck with transferring 3 (which is a rare thing at this clinic anyway). The other 2 will continue to grow and then based on their quality we will decided whether or not to freeze them.
At this point I had already consumed my 32 ounces of water and was feeling the need to go...Finally I was taken into the op room and had to empty my bladder 2 and a half times. I guessed it would be 3 times based on how uncomfortable I was, but 2 and a half is still a lot. The transfer went smoothly. Oddly quiet. With really pretty music in the background.
I waited in the recovery room for the 20 minutes they let you lay still. Then they let us leave. Simple as that. No drama. Weird...for us anyway.
We went and checked into a hotel. We had stayed at this particular hotel once before, and found it to have everything we needed. By that I mean, room service, clean comfy beds, and pay per view movies. Unfortunately once we were checked into said room, we opened the armoire to find a teeny tiny tv and no pay per view. Aw man...down to the lobby Bobby went (that's funny, lobby Bobby haha) anyway, he fought with them and needless to say we left that particular hotel and ended up at a different hotel that assured us they had ppv. Bobby was a little tense and mentioned I was pretty much on bed rest. I think they sensed his tension because they had us upgraded to a suite for free. Sa- weeeet! The hotel stay was wonderful and relaxing. We caught up on movies we had been wanting to see. I ate my pineapple that I had carted there in a cooler. General happiness was the mood.
My blogs aren't nearly as funny when things go smoothly and I can't remark snarkely on events, but I can say that I'm happy things have finally, finally gone right for once. Maybe this is a sign of things to come. I am taking it really easy today, and tomorrow I will work from home so I can rest throughout the day.
I am sure I will be updating throughout these long days of waiting....Till then....
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Chuggin' along
Well, it looks like we still have all 6 embryos. 5 of them are at 8 cell (which is where they should be today) and 1 is only at 4 cell. I am thrilled that they are all still "active" and can't believe that we still have 6. I'm holding my breath, waiting and hoping that by day 5 we will have enough quality embryos to transfer.
My last acupuncture appt. went really well. We did the cupping again, and I can still feel the relief in my shoulders and back. I asked her about the pineapple theory and she told me that she knows in South America they eat it for it's anti-inflammatory purposes and she had heard that the core could assist in implantation because of the bromelian. So, she said she didn't think it would hurt anything to buy an organic pineapple, divide it into 5 portions (core and all) and eat 1 portion a day for five days starting today and going for 3 days past transfer. So, today I ate my organic pineapple and enjoyed it very much :-)
She also told me to try to eat organic as much as possible - ummmm...I went to the Co-op and organic is expensive. So I am trying to incorporate organic items into my meals as best I can (and as much as I can afford). But the best thing she told me to do was to get a big fatty-grass-fed piece of beef and grill it up for Father's Day - yay for red meat! I seriously had a dream the other night that I worked in a meat hanger and I moved fresh juicy red meat out of the way so people could walk through the hanger. That was my job...meat mover. I'm thinkin I need a little red meat in my life again. Granted, this is only for one night and I am still to limit my intake after transfer, but I will enjoy every juicy bite.
Also, poor Bobby found out he has a kidney infection. Boo to that. I was a not-so-great wife and kind of didn't believe that he was sick. I merely thought he was internalizing the stress of this week. Well, turns out not everything is about IVF in our lives and he in fact was not internalizing and was indeed very sick. Now he is totally conked out and I am left with a huge feeling of guilt for not initially believing him. I think all is forgiven as I went out and bought him some yummy peanut butter and chocolate ice cream and have let him sleep most of the day.
We won't hear anymore until Monday...or otherwise known as transfer day (dun dun dunnnnn). They will call us first thing in the am and let us know what survived and if we can transfer that day and then will instruct us on the time to arrive at the office. Please, please pray and think good thoughts for these little embryos to keep chuggin' along...I will update on Monday if I can, otherwise you can expect a little somethin, somethin on Tuesday.
My last acupuncture appt. went really well. We did the cupping again, and I can still feel the relief in my shoulders and back. I asked her about the pineapple theory and she told me that she knows in South America they eat it for it's anti-inflammatory purposes and she had heard that the core could assist in implantation because of the bromelian. So, she said she didn't think it would hurt anything to buy an organic pineapple, divide it into 5 portions (core and all) and eat 1 portion a day for five days starting today and going for 3 days past transfer. So, today I ate my organic pineapple and enjoyed it very much :-)
She also told me to try to eat organic as much as possible - ummmm...I went to the Co-op and organic is expensive. So I am trying to incorporate organic items into my meals as best I can (and as much as I can afford). But the best thing she told me to do was to get a big fatty-grass-fed piece of beef and grill it up for Father's Day - yay for red meat! I seriously had a dream the other night that I worked in a meat hanger and I moved fresh juicy red meat out of the way so people could walk through the hanger. That was my job...meat mover. I'm thinkin I need a little red meat in my life again. Granted, this is only for one night and I am still to limit my intake after transfer, but I will enjoy every juicy bite.
Also, poor Bobby found out he has a kidney infection. Boo to that. I was a not-so-great wife and kind of didn't believe that he was sick. I merely thought he was internalizing the stress of this week. Well, turns out not everything is about IVF in our lives and he in fact was not internalizing and was indeed very sick. Now he is totally conked out and I am left with a huge feeling of guilt for not initially believing him. I think all is forgiven as I went out and bought him some yummy peanut butter and chocolate ice cream and have let him sleep most of the day.
We won't hear anymore until Monday...or otherwise known as transfer day (dun dun dunnnnn). They will call us first thing in the am and let us know what survived and if we can transfer that day and then will instruct us on the time to arrive at the office. Please, please pray and think good thoughts for these little embryos to keep chuggin' along...I will update on Monday if I can, otherwise you can expect a little somethin, somethin on Tuesday.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Egg/Embryo Update
So, I got the call from my nurse letting me know what the status was on my eggs yesterday and the embryos today.
They were actually able to retrieve 16 eggs, and let me tell ya...I am feeling some pain from the extraction - ouch! Out of the 16 eggs only 10 were mature. Go Doc (he totally guessed 10)! So out of the 10 mature eggs, sadly only 6 fertilized (all with the help of our little friend ICSI).
Ugh! 6 little embryos. Some of you may think - wow! 6 is great. But let me break it down for ya. I have 6 today - only about half tend to make it to day 3 (Saturday), out of those...only about half (if that many) will make it to day 5, which is my transfer day. That means I will Maybe, Maybe have 1 embryo on transfer day of which the quality is yet to be determined. Please don't think I am getting down and being all negative and whatever...it's just, being through this several times before has made me face the reality of the situation. I will most likely be using my frosties.
On to other things...I have a new pill/shot regimen: I now get to have the big fatty-mcfatterson progesterone shot in my backside/hip area on a nightly basis. I also take doxycyclene (pill) twice a day, medrol (pill) once a day, and my prenatal vitamin.
I also have a new one...well, not actually new. I took it during my frozen cycle, but haven't taken it for a fresh cycle. Ok, so I'm taking Estrace 2 Mg (pill taken orally) and 1Mg (pill inserted into the va-jay-jay). Yep, you heard right. I get to stick a pill "deep" (as the nurse described to me) into my lady area every night before bed. The Doc thinks adding the Estrace will help with the implantation. Bring it on - anything to help at this point is welcome.
I have my last acupuncture appointment tonight. I am kind of sad that this is the last one, because I really enjoyed my time there. My acupuncture person told me that if this doesn't work out, I should start acupuncture again, and next time she will mix in Chinese herbs. I am considering this, as I've tried everything else under the moon, and frankly the acupuncture relaxes me to a point I haven't been at for years so if anything. at least I'll get that benefit.
Oh, and did I mention I am feeling the pain from yesterday. I don't know if I didn't sit still enough yesterday or what, but my tummy hurts. And last night I had to get up to use the bathroom and I must have been sleeping in a balled up position because when I straightened out to stand up, I cried from the pain. Today it is a little better, but still not lovin' how I'm feeling.
I would have stayed home and rested today but the lovely University I work for has decided that instead of sending out our lay-off letters, the Deans would hand deliver them to us and have a private meeting with each person. Mandatory Meeting. Today. So in to work I dragged myself, just so I can get "officially laid off". Today sucks! I do have 6 months left and just found out that I am 99% going to have my job extended for one full year and if we can find grants we can transition into a self-sustaining unit - but it still sucks to lose your job to budget cuts regardless.
I am having a little pity party apparentally...won't you join me?
I will update on Saturday with news of my acupuncture and the update on the embies.
They were actually able to retrieve 16 eggs, and let me tell ya...I am feeling some pain from the extraction - ouch! Out of the 16 eggs only 10 were mature. Go Doc (he totally guessed 10)! So out of the 10 mature eggs, sadly only 6 fertilized (all with the help of our little friend ICSI).
Ugh! 6 little embryos. Some of you may think - wow! 6 is great. But let me break it down for ya. I have 6 today - only about half tend to make it to day 3 (Saturday), out of those...only about half (if that many) will make it to day 5, which is my transfer day. That means I will Maybe, Maybe have 1 embryo on transfer day of which the quality is yet to be determined. Please don't think I am getting down and being all negative and whatever...it's just, being through this several times before has made me face the reality of the situation. I will most likely be using my frosties.
On to other things...I have a new pill/shot regimen: I now get to have the big fatty-mcfatterson progesterone shot in my backside/hip area on a nightly basis. I also take doxycyclene (pill) twice a day, medrol (pill) once a day, and my prenatal vitamin.
I also have a new one...well, not actually new. I took it during my frozen cycle, but haven't taken it for a fresh cycle. Ok, so I'm taking Estrace 2 Mg (pill taken orally) and 1Mg (pill inserted into the va-jay-jay). Yep, you heard right. I get to stick a pill "deep" (as the nurse described to me) into my lady area every night before bed. The Doc thinks adding the Estrace will help with the implantation. Bring it on - anything to help at this point is welcome.
I have my last acupuncture appointment tonight. I am kind of sad that this is the last one, because I really enjoyed my time there. My acupuncture person told me that if this doesn't work out, I should start acupuncture again, and next time she will mix in Chinese herbs. I am considering this, as I've tried everything else under the moon, and frankly the acupuncture relaxes me to a point I haven't been at for years so if anything. at least I'll get that benefit.
Oh, and did I mention I am feeling the pain from yesterday. I don't know if I didn't sit still enough yesterday or what, but my tummy hurts. And last night I had to get up to use the bathroom and I must have been sleeping in a balled up position because when I straightened out to stand up, I cried from the pain. Today it is a little better, but still not lovin' how I'm feeling.
I would have stayed home and rested today but the lovely University I work for has decided that instead of sending out our lay-off letters, the Deans would hand deliver them to us and have a private meeting with each person. Mandatory Meeting. Today. So in to work I dragged myself, just so I can get "officially laid off". Today sucks! I do have 6 months left and just found out that I am 99% going to have my job extended for one full year and if we can find grants we can transition into a self-sustaining unit - but it still sucks to lose your job to budget cuts regardless.
I am having a little pity party apparentally...won't you join me?
I will update on Saturday with news of my acupuncture and the update on the embies.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Rolling veins are just no fun
Today was the big retrieval day. We got there at 7:30ish and the waiting room was still full of people - mostly of the female variety. This did not sit well with Bobby since he was there to do some business and the the fact that everyone in the room knew that (because why else would they call him back into "the room") really bothered him this time. He was a trooper and muddled through, but snuck out the back door and gave me a covert call on my cell phone to tell me to meet him in the lobby. Too funny.
I chatted with Nicole and another nice person while waiting for Bobby and the other person had also heard of the pineapple thing. Her friend tried it during her 5th cycle at a different clinic and swears it worked. Apparently you are supposed to eat it after transfer because it aids in implantation. I asked the nurses what they thought about it and they said they hadn't heard anything about pineapple. I told them that they might start hearing about it because I was talking about it rather loudly in the waiting room, and let's be honest....tell a bunch of desperate infertiles that pineapple is a magical helper and there just might be a mad rush of women buying pineapple.
So anyway, we left the office for awhile, and arrived back just before 9am. I changed into the gown, robe, hair net, and socks -yes, I did steal them this time :-) Then I waited for the anesthesiologist. When it was time for my iv I explained that everytime they have tried it on my left hand, the vein has rolled back and it hasn't worked. So this time they tried my right hand...wouldn't you know it - that darn vein rolled back and it didn't work. Instead of attempting on my left hand, they just decided to put it in my arm - ouch! It stung. Bad.
I also told them that the last time I had retrieval I got really sick on the car ride home. They gave me some anti-nausea stuff in my iv, but concluded that I most likely got sick because that was the start of my hyperstim. Hmmm...looking back, that makes sense.
After the retrieval, I was wheeled into recovery. I ate my little crackers and had my juice. I was feeling the pain so they gave me a ty.len.ol with codeine - mmm that's better... Then they told us they were able to retrieve 15 eggs. Not too shabby. The first time we only got 12, and the second time we got 30-something, so 15 was sounding pretty ok to me. I know that the chances of them being mature are minimal, but for now I am going to think they were all mature and will all be fertilized. I'll get the call tomorrow to tell me the exact numbers and of course will relay all that info to all of you.
Sorry, I can't come up with anything witty or humorous this blog...I'm still feeling a bit sore and just attempted to eat lunch, which I am now realizing may have been hasty and quite possibly not my best decision of the day.
Till tomorrow...
I chatted with Nicole and another nice person while waiting for Bobby and the other person had also heard of the pineapple thing. Her friend tried it during her 5th cycle at a different clinic and swears it worked. Apparently you are supposed to eat it after transfer because it aids in implantation. I asked the nurses what they thought about it and they said they hadn't heard anything about pineapple. I told them that they might start hearing about it because I was talking about it rather loudly in the waiting room, and let's be honest....tell a bunch of desperate infertiles that pineapple is a magical helper and there just might be a mad rush of women buying pineapple.
So anyway, we left the office for awhile, and arrived back just before 9am. I changed into the gown, robe, hair net, and socks -yes, I did steal them this time :-) Then I waited for the anesthesiologist. When it was time for my iv I explained that everytime they have tried it on my left hand, the vein has rolled back and it hasn't worked. So this time they tried my right hand...wouldn't you know it - that darn vein rolled back and it didn't work. Instead of attempting on my left hand, they just decided to put it in my arm - ouch! It stung. Bad.
I also told them that the last time I had retrieval I got really sick on the car ride home. They gave me some anti-nausea stuff in my iv, but concluded that I most likely got sick because that was the start of my hyperstim. Hmmm...looking back, that makes sense.
After the retrieval, I was wheeled into recovery. I ate my little crackers and had my juice. I was feeling the pain so they gave me a ty.len.ol with codeine - mmm that's better... Then they told us they were able to retrieve 15 eggs. Not too shabby. The first time we only got 12, and the second time we got 30-something, so 15 was sounding pretty ok to me. I know that the chances of them being mature are minimal, but for now I am going to think they were all mature and will all be fertilized. I'll get the call tomorrow to tell me the exact numbers and of course will relay all that info to all of you.
Sorry, I can't come up with anything witty or humorous this blog...I'm still feeling a bit sore and just attempted to eat lunch, which I am now realizing may have been hasty and quite possibly not my best decision of the day.
Till tomorrow...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Anniversary - woo hoo!
Ok, so my anniversary really has nothing to do with all this IVF related hulabullo, but today is my 8 year anniversary none the less. And oh, Bobby would kick me for that statement, because it is actually "our anniversary" not just mine but for some reason I like to claim it as such :-)
So, my appointment today went ok. Nothing out of the ordinary. The left follicles are still stubborn and not cooperating in any way, shape or form. My right ones are inching along. The Doc said that he is going to predict 10, but when my nurse called that number was revised to a 6. Yikes...I guess that's better than none and I guess the one thing I have on my side is that nothing has gone the way they think so far, so maybe my ovaries will surprise them and pump out some stellar eggs.
She told me that I can be rest assured that I will not be hyperstimming this time. (Well, there's some good news.) My estrogen level is around 2400, and when I hypserstimmed it peaked at 6300. I'm feeling pretty good about that not happening again. And she just kept reminding me that there are all of my frozen embies ready to go. I think they were expecting me to be more upset at the news that this may be a bum fresh cycle, and honestly...at this point...you can't really tell me much that will bring me down. I've heard it all this past year and just feel like I can roll with whatever comes my way.
Same plan (as previously posted) for tomorrow morning...nothing new there. Oh, and in my IVF forgetfulness, I forgot to ask about the pineapple. I will definitely do that tomorrow. I will of course post tomorrow night - pardon me in advance if the post is a weird one...I may still be doped up when I decide to share my info. Till then....
So, my appointment today went ok. Nothing out of the ordinary. The left follicles are still stubborn and not cooperating in any way, shape or form. My right ones are inching along. The Doc said that he is going to predict 10, but when my nurse called that number was revised to a 6. Yikes...I guess that's better than none and I guess the one thing I have on my side is that nothing has gone the way they think so far, so maybe my ovaries will surprise them and pump out some stellar eggs.
She told me that I can be rest assured that I will not be hyperstimming this time. (Well, there's some good news.) My estrogen level is around 2400, and when I hypserstimmed it peaked at 6300. I'm feeling pretty good about that not happening again. And she just kept reminding me that there are all of my frozen embies ready to go. I think they were expecting me to be more upset at the news that this may be a bum fresh cycle, and honestly...at this point...you can't really tell me much that will bring me down. I've heard it all this past year and just feel like I can roll with whatever comes my way.
Same plan (as previously posted) for tomorrow morning...nothing new there. Oh, and in my IVF forgetfulness, I forgot to ask about the pineapple. I will definitely do that tomorrow. I will of course post tomorrow night - pardon me in advance if the post is a weird one...I may still be doped up when I decide to share my info. Till then....
Monday, June 15, 2009
Trigger shot tonight
That's right...tonight I don't have to give any of my other shots. Instead, Bobby will give me my trigger shot. This shot is high dose HCG and it basically triggers ovulation 30-some hours after you give it. I was instructed to give mine at 11pm, which means my retrieval will be at 10am on Wednesday.
The great news about this is that I don't have to have any shots tomorrow, which also happens to be my anniversary. Awesome. We could actually go to dinner without me having to excuse myself to give shots in some restaurant bathroom stall - woo hoo!
The kind of sucky thing is that I had to cancel my Wed. acupuncture appt. So I will only have one more acupuncture before my transfer. Aw well, I gave it my best shot and hopefully the appointments I have had so far will prove to be beneficial.
Ok, so let's talk follicles. Sadly my left ovary has decided to stop working. Poor little bugger just didn't have it in him for the long haul. None of the follicles on the left have grown. Boo to that!
The righty was doing ok. Still a slow grower - none of the follicles are where the doc wants them to be but we can't push them anymore so it looks like they are as good as they will get. He told me they were aiming for 20 follicles total and I will probably end up with between 5 to 10. Which of course means less eggs, and possibly no mature eggs. You would think at this point I would be freaking out, but my saving grace is having all of the little frozen embryos. I know that no matter what, we will be transferring good embryos, and at this point that feels pretty good.
I am pretty tired this week. Driving back and forth to Spokane everyday wears on me - which in turn has made me sort of stupid. I have been forgetful, um...I forgot that I talked to my sister in what I can only conclude was a pretty in depth conversation and I've also been a bit clumsy...walking into doors and such. But honestly, that is about it for the side effects.
Oh, and I have a new little tip that I read online...apparently pineapple (mainly the core) is supposed to be very helpful in the implantation process. I am going to confirm this webformation (that's a little term I like to use regarding information I find on the web) tomorrow at my appt. But hey, I like pineapple so if it will help even a little, then serve me up some yummy fruity goodness :-)
Ok, here's the rest of week:
- Ultrasound and labs tomorrow to confirm I am still on track for retrieval and to rest assured that my body hasn't decided to spontaneously decided to ovulate
- Tomorrow night is freedom from shots or anything IVF related
- Wednesday morning is up to Spokane by 7:30 so Bobby can make his big debut in this lovely production, then probably breakfast for Bobby while I talk about how hungry I am because I can't eat but let him eat in front of me anyway because we are in Spokane so stinking early that nothing else is open and we have time to kill. Then back to the Dr office by 9am so they can get the iv in and wheel me in for my 10am retrieval.
- Wed. night starts my progesterone shots (yep the big huge ones that I really don't care for)
I will update tomorrow after my appointment, 'till then....
The great news about this is that I don't have to have any shots tomorrow, which also happens to be my anniversary. Awesome. We could actually go to dinner without me having to excuse myself to give shots in some restaurant bathroom stall - woo hoo!
The kind of sucky thing is that I had to cancel my Wed. acupuncture appt. So I will only have one more acupuncture before my transfer. Aw well, I gave it my best shot and hopefully the appointments I have had so far will prove to be beneficial.
Ok, so let's talk follicles. Sadly my left ovary has decided to stop working. Poor little bugger just didn't have it in him for the long haul. None of the follicles on the left have grown. Boo to that!
The righty was doing ok. Still a slow grower - none of the follicles are where the doc wants them to be but we can't push them anymore so it looks like they are as good as they will get. He told me they were aiming for 20 follicles total and I will probably end up with between 5 to 10. Which of course means less eggs, and possibly no mature eggs. You would think at this point I would be freaking out, but my saving grace is having all of the little frozen embryos. I know that no matter what, we will be transferring good embryos, and at this point that feels pretty good.
I am pretty tired this week. Driving back and forth to Spokane everyday wears on me - which in turn has made me sort of stupid. I have been forgetful, um...I forgot that I talked to my sister in what I can only conclude was a pretty in depth conversation and I've also been a bit clumsy...walking into doors and such. But honestly, that is about it for the side effects.
Oh, and I have a new little tip that I read online...apparently pineapple (mainly the core) is supposed to be very helpful in the implantation process. I am going to confirm this webformation (that's a little term I like to use regarding information I find on the web) tomorrow at my appt. But hey, I like pineapple so if it will help even a little, then serve me up some yummy fruity goodness :-)
Ok, here's the rest of week:
- Ultrasound and labs tomorrow to confirm I am still on track for retrieval and to rest assured that my body hasn't decided to spontaneously decided to ovulate
- Tomorrow night is freedom from shots or anything IVF related
- Wednesday morning is up to Spokane by 7:30 so Bobby can make his big debut in this lovely production, then probably breakfast for Bobby while I talk about how hungry I am because I can't eat but let him eat in front of me anyway because we are in Spokane so stinking early that nothing else is open and we have time to kill. Then back to the Dr office by 9am so they can get the iv in and wheel me in for my 10am retrieval.
- Wed. night starts my progesterone shots (yep the big huge ones that I really don't care for)
I will update tomorrow after my appointment, 'till then....
Friday, June 12, 2009
Grow Follicles, Grow
So I had my appointment today and it was same old, same old. The Doc was concerned because pretty much all of the follicles on my left ovary are the same size they were two days ago. Luckily my right ovary has decided to take over, but it too is lagging. My follicles are simply not growing. I think I have 2 on my right ovary that have grown a little, but they aren't where they should be. The Doc said that we will probably up the dosage of my follistum, but we would have to wait to see what my bloodwork says. He also warned me that we are probably going to have little to no mature eggs this time.
I got the call from my nurse and she said to keep all my dosages the same. Confused...I told her what the doc had said and asked if she was sure I shouldn't up my dosage. She said they don't want to up the dosage because my numbers are where they should be and they don't want to elevate them because then I will hyperstim. Ugh! Why won't my darn body just cooperate one time...one stinkin time!?!
My nurse told me not too worry because we do have our frozen embies so if we have to thaw some of those, then that's what we'll do. Thanks, but that doesn't really make me feel better since I'm possibly pumping my body full of hormones for what might turn out to be nothing. Grrr....
On another note....My friend Nicole and I were talking in the waiting room and we both agreed that sometime people say the weirdest things to infertiles and/or adoptive parents. I thought I would include a little list of things not to say for those of you that might not know.
* (side note) I am out of the ordinary when it comes to infertility. We adopted, so the fact that we are reproducing-challenged is no secret. I am an open book when it comes to questions, and feel like I can educate people on this process. I am the Exception the the Rule. A good majority of infertile women feel this is a very very private issue. They don't like personal questions, and most don't like to share their experience. The reason for this side note is because I don't want people to look at this list and suddenly feel afraid to ask me things. I am just putting this out there so you'll know what Not to say...
Things NOT to say to:
People trying to have a baby (before any ART):
- "Just relax"
- "Don't try so hard" (my personal favorite)
- "You've only been trying for" (fill in the amount of time here), give it time."
*all of the above statements make you feel like it is in someway your fault for not getting pregnant when in actuality, it is probably out of your hands.
People going through IVF or adoption:
- "So who has the problem, you or your husband?" (really? Why do you need to know this?)
- "I would never implant more than one embryo" (never say never. You truly don't know until
you've been there)
- "I know a friend of my cousin who did IVF, got pregnant the first time, and then got pregnant
again shortly after. Once her body knew how to be pregnant, it happened naturally." (there
are soooo many reasons why this statement is stupid. Don't say this to me, because if it did
happen, then it is rare and most likely won't happen for me.)
- "Oh, don't you know once you adopt you'll get pregnant? It's because you aren't worrying
about it anymore." (If only it were that simple.)
- "If it doesn't work, you could always adopt". (Really? Thanks. That never occurred to me.
Obviously I know I can adopt. And by the way, for some people, adoption isn't plan B. For us,
it was our first choice. Please don't imply to me that adoption is some sort of second place
prize.)
- "It will all be worth it in the end". (will it? How do you know? Even my Dr. isn't so sure about
that.)
There are many, many more, but I wanted to post the most common. If anyone wants to add comments that they have heard, feel free. I know most people mean well, and aren't trying to be insensitive. I just thought I would throw these out there in case you ever catch yourself wanting to say one of them :-)
Next Appointment is on Sunday. Grow Follies Grow.
I got the call from my nurse and she said to keep all my dosages the same. Confused...I told her what the doc had said and asked if she was sure I shouldn't up my dosage. She said they don't want to up the dosage because my numbers are where they should be and they don't want to elevate them because then I will hyperstim. Ugh! Why won't my darn body just cooperate one time...one stinkin time!?!
My nurse told me not too worry because we do have our frozen embies so if we have to thaw some of those, then that's what we'll do. Thanks, but that doesn't really make me feel better since I'm possibly pumping my body full of hormones for what might turn out to be nothing. Grrr....
On another note....My friend Nicole and I were talking in the waiting room and we both agreed that sometime people say the weirdest things to infertiles and/or adoptive parents. I thought I would include a little list of things not to say for those of you that might not know.
* (side note) I am out of the ordinary when it comes to infertility. We adopted, so the fact that we are reproducing-challenged is no secret. I am an open book when it comes to questions, and feel like I can educate people on this process. I am the Exception the the Rule. A good majority of infertile women feel this is a very very private issue. They don't like personal questions, and most don't like to share their experience. The reason for this side note is because I don't want people to look at this list and suddenly feel afraid to ask me things. I am just putting this out there so you'll know what Not to say...
Things NOT to say to:
People trying to have a baby (before any ART):
- "Just relax"
- "Don't try so hard" (my personal favorite)
- "You've only been trying for" (fill in the amount of time here), give it time."
*all of the above statements make you feel like it is in someway your fault for not getting pregnant when in actuality, it is probably out of your hands.
People going through IVF or adoption:
- "So who has the problem, you or your husband?" (really? Why do you need to know this?)
- "I would never implant more than one embryo" (never say never. You truly don't know until
you've been there)
- "I know a friend of my cousin who did IVF, got pregnant the first time, and then got pregnant
again shortly after. Once her body knew how to be pregnant, it happened naturally." (there
are soooo many reasons why this statement is stupid. Don't say this to me, because if it did
happen, then it is rare and most likely won't happen for me.)
- "Oh, don't you know once you adopt you'll get pregnant? It's because you aren't worrying
about it anymore." (If only it were that simple.)
- "If it doesn't work, you could always adopt". (Really? Thanks. That never occurred to me.
Obviously I know I can adopt. And by the way, for some people, adoption isn't plan B. For us,
it was our first choice. Please don't imply to me that adoption is some sort of second place
prize.)
- "It will all be worth it in the end". (will it? How do you know? Even my Dr. isn't so sure about
that.)
There are many, many more, but I wanted to post the most common. If anyone wants to add comments that they have heard, feel free. I know most people mean well, and aren't trying to be insensitive. I just thought I would throw these out there in case you ever catch yourself wanting to say one of them :-)
Next Appointment is on Sunday. Grow Follies Grow.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Cupping and other such things...
Ok, the cupping actually has to do with my acupuncture appt. but first I will give the deets on my dr. appointment.
Monday I got the call from my nurse that everything was going ok and to keep up with my same dosages/shots. So no news there. Today I had another appointment in Spokane, and it was nice because my friend Nicole was there (yay!). We didn't get to talk too long unfortunately, but still, it was nice to see a friendly face.
Anyway, at my appointment, the Dr. was doing my ultrasound and hemmed and hawed (never a good sign, I have learned). He said my endometrium was finally starting to build up (good) but I only had one follicle on my right ovary that measured over 11 and they all should be measuring over 11 by today (not so good). He asked me why I always had to cause him trouble, and I told him I was just trying to keep him on his toes. (*fake laugh by the doc here) He said we would wait and see what my bloodwork looks like and that I would get instructions from my nurse. Since this isn't my first go-a-round I knew that when my nurse called she would instruct me to up the dosage of my follistum, I just wasn't sure by how much. Oh, but the great news is it looks like my right ovary is back in the game and just might produce some mighty fine eggs :-)
When my nurse called (actually it wasn't my nurse, it was another nurse Debbie - but that's ok by me and not really important to this story in anyway, shape or form) anywho, when she called, I was in my acupuncture appt. so she left me a msg. and told me to up the dosage of my follistum (who's a smarty pants?) to 50, and leave my other dosages the same. Looks like more hormones for me. (*sigh)
Now onto my acupuncture, which I must say has piqued quite the interest with people.
Last night I went in and she did the normal, look at my tongue, take my pulse thing. Then I layed down and she put the needles in. I had a few different spots this time. She pressed really hard on the upper cartilage of my ear and I yelped so she stuck a needle in there and told me that was a pressure point for my uterus. I told her that my uterus must hurt because that didn't feel great (poor uterus has been through so much). On my other ear/uterus point, she placed this seed pod. A seed pod is a seed on this sticky tape-like-thing. She told me to massage it gently every now and then and she would take it off the next day. Pretty basic appointment.
Today I went back for my second appointment of acupuncture this week. This one was a little different. I layed down and she was asking about my stress. I said I felt pretty good, but I might be under a little stress. Then she asked me to lay on my side and she felt all the muscle in my back and shoulders. She told me that my muscles were hard as rocks and she wanted to try cupping before we inserted the needles. Um, cupping? Is that anything like spooning, 'cause I'm good thanks.... She had me sit in a chair with my head resting on a pillow on a table in front of me. (oh, I had to take off my shirt, and at this point I still had no idea what cupping was - aren't I trusting?). Then she proceeded to place about 8 small glass cups on my back and shoulders, and as she placed them, she used this suction thingy to suck all the air out of the cups so they were suctioned cupped to my body - can you say weird?
I have to say the cupping wasn't pleasant...at first. It felt like you had a really bad sunburn and someone came up and scratched you over and over...you know that kind of burning/stinging/ouchiness? Well that's what it felt like for the first few minutes. Then that went away and suddenly there was a really warm sensation that was happening. I was just starting to fall asleep when she came in and told me it was time to remove the cups - ah, well. She did say that I might have mild bruising on some spots. That will be a fun one to explain (lol).
Anyway, she proceeded with my acupuncture, I had a nice little nappy, and before I left she placed a seed pod in the other ear.
Here is a pic of the cupping - these aren't ouchy bruises. more like temporary hickies :-)
Upcoming events for me: Doc. appt on Friday in Spokane, then another one on Sunday. Retrieval is set for Tuesday, then acupuncture on Wed. and Thursday. Man this round of IVF is going by really fast (and I'm not complaining!).
Monday I got the call from my nurse that everything was going ok and to keep up with my same dosages/shots. So no news there. Today I had another appointment in Spokane, and it was nice because my friend Nicole was there (yay!). We didn't get to talk too long unfortunately, but still, it was nice to see a friendly face.
Anyway, at my appointment, the Dr. was doing my ultrasound and hemmed and hawed (never a good sign, I have learned). He said my endometrium was finally starting to build up (good) but I only had one follicle on my right ovary that measured over 11 and they all should be measuring over 11 by today (not so good). He asked me why I always had to cause him trouble, and I told him I was just trying to keep him on his toes. (*fake laugh by the doc here) He said we would wait and see what my bloodwork looks like and that I would get instructions from my nurse. Since this isn't my first go-a-round I knew that when my nurse called she would instruct me to up the dosage of my follistum, I just wasn't sure by how much. Oh, but the great news is it looks like my right ovary is back in the game and just might produce some mighty fine eggs :-)
When my nurse called (actually it wasn't my nurse, it was another nurse Debbie - but that's ok by me and not really important to this story in anyway, shape or form) anywho, when she called, I was in my acupuncture appt. so she left me a msg. and told me to up the dosage of my follistum (who's a smarty pants?) to 50, and leave my other dosages the same. Looks like more hormones for me. (*sigh)
Now onto my acupuncture, which I must say has piqued quite the interest with people.
Last night I went in and she did the normal, look at my tongue, take my pulse thing. Then I layed down and she put the needles in. I had a few different spots this time. She pressed really hard on the upper cartilage of my ear and I yelped so she stuck a needle in there and told me that was a pressure point for my uterus. I told her that my uterus must hurt because that didn't feel great (poor uterus has been through so much). On my other ear/uterus point, she placed this seed pod. A seed pod is a seed on this sticky tape-like-thing. She told me to massage it gently every now and then and she would take it off the next day. Pretty basic appointment.
Today I went back for my second appointment of acupuncture this week. This one was a little different. I layed down and she was asking about my stress. I said I felt pretty good, but I might be under a little stress. Then she asked me to lay on my side and she felt all the muscle in my back and shoulders. She told me that my muscles were hard as rocks and she wanted to try cupping before we inserted the needles. Um, cupping? Is that anything like spooning, 'cause I'm good thanks.... She had me sit in a chair with my head resting on a pillow on a table in front of me. (oh, I had to take off my shirt, and at this point I still had no idea what cupping was - aren't I trusting?). Then she proceeded to place about 8 small glass cups on my back and shoulders, and as she placed them, she used this suction thingy to suck all the air out of the cups so they were suctioned cupped to my body - can you say weird?
I have to say the cupping wasn't pleasant...at first. It felt like you had a really bad sunburn and someone came up and scratched you over and over...you know that kind of burning/stinging/ouchiness? Well that's what it felt like for the first few minutes. Then that went away and suddenly there was a really warm sensation that was happening. I was just starting to fall asleep when she came in and told me it was time to remove the cups - ah, well. She did say that I might have mild bruising on some spots. That will be a fun one to explain (lol).
Anyway, she proceeded with my acupuncture, I had a nice little nappy, and before I left she placed a seed pod in the other ear.
Here is a pic of the cupping - these aren't ouchy bruises. more like temporary hickies :-)
Upcoming events for me: Doc. appt on Friday in Spokane, then another one on Sunday. Retrieval is set for Tuesday, then acupuncture on Wed. and Thursday. Man this round of IVF is going by really fast (and I'm not complaining!).
Monday, June 8, 2009
First side effect has made it's debut...
I had an appointment in Spokane today, so I was up at 4:3o and out the door just before 5am. I know that I don't really need to get there early (and by early, I mean about 5 or 10 minutes earlier than the 7am appointment) since I'm just coming home after my appointments and not rushing off to work, but I am an impatient person. I'm a person who hates to wait. And since this series has lots of women going through, I thought it best for my own sanity to try to arrive a little early to reduce my wait time. Boy was I glad that I made that decision! I only waited about 5 minutes, but the people were streaming in as I was walking out.
I had labs and ultrasound today. The Doc had his usual cheery bedside manner (sense the sarcasm, please). He did say that it looks like I have some polyps, although it is hard to see on this type of ultrasound. He also said my endometrium isn't building up yet and there was some liquid in my uterus. That could be because I finally just finished my period (yep it was well over a week long) - he assured me that this isn't something we need to worry about at this point. I had 15 follies on my left ovary and still only 6 on my right. Come-on right ovary, the left one is kicking your ass!
I haven't heard from my nurse yet, and I usually wait to blog until that point - but let's be honest, there are a ton of women going through this series and somehow I ended up marrying someone with a W last name, which means I am at the end of the calling list (they go alphabetical). So I don't expect my phone call until sometime late this afternoon. I will update what my nurse says when I update about my acupuncture tomorrow.
Oh, and I officially have a side effect. I think the technical term is "hot flash", but I like to refer to this particular side effect as the "hellish inferno that is taking over my body from the inside out with no relief in site" - I am frikkin hot - and not hot like a "oooh, look at my ass in these jeans" kind of hot...I am hot....like a sizzling piece of bacon in a fry pan kind of hot. I am so hot that when I stopped at Wi.nc.o on my way home I spent an unusual amount of time leaning into the milk bin to cool myself off. I was asked to step out of the way....twice...and I didn't care because it was such sweet, sweet relief.
Till next time......
I had labs and ultrasound today. The Doc had his usual cheery bedside manner (sense the sarcasm, please). He did say that it looks like I have some polyps, although it is hard to see on this type of ultrasound. He also said my endometrium isn't building up yet and there was some liquid in my uterus. That could be because I finally just finished my period (yep it was well over a week long) - he assured me that this isn't something we need to worry about at this point. I had 15 follies on my left ovary and still only 6 on my right. Come-on right ovary, the left one is kicking your ass!
I haven't heard from my nurse yet, and I usually wait to blog until that point - but let's be honest, there are a ton of women going through this series and somehow I ended up marrying someone with a W last name, which means I am at the end of the calling list (they go alphabetical). So I don't expect my phone call until sometime late this afternoon. I will update what my nurse says when I update about my acupuncture tomorrow.
Oh, and I officially have a side effect. I think the technical term is "hot flash", but I like to refer to this particular side effect as the "hellish inferno that is taking over my body from the inside out with no relief in site" - I am frikkin hot - and not hot like a "oooh, look at my ass in these jeans" kind of hot...I am hot....like a sizzling piece of bacon in a fry pan kind of hot. I am so hot that when I stopped at Wi.nc.o on my way home I spent an unusual amount of time leaning into the milk bin to cool myself off. I was asked to step out of the way....twice...and I didn't care because it was such sweet, sweet relief.
Till next time......
Saturday, June 6, 2009
One appointment down, many more to go...
I had my second acupuncture appointment this past week and it went really great. She put the needles in a few different spots from last time, told me to continue to cut the dairy and red meat, and keep up the soaking of my feet. I scheduled all of my upcoming appointments before I left and I had to put some on back to back days, which she assured me would be ok. I really love the acupuncture. I don't know if it's doing anything, but I can say that it is very relaxing and every time I am in there I try to mentally envision any blockages of blood, energy, what-have-you moving out of the way and clearing a path of goodness to my uterus....well, that and sometimes I take a little nappy :-)
I also had my appointment to kick off this IVF series. I drove to Spokane bright and early Friday morning. I was happy to see that there weren't too many people in the waiting room. I had my blood drawn (aka "labs") and my super quick ultrasound - for those of you new to this blog, that would be an internal ultrasound with the big giant wand thingy - yuck! Things look good, so the Doc says. I have 10 follicles on my left ovary and 6 on my right. I thought this was a bit odd because my left ovary is sort of bench warmer - stands off to the side, never really does much, but I guess it has finally decided to get in the game.
I left my appointment and headed to my ever-relaxing spa day. I had a pedicure, a bikini wax (because let's face it...the bikini area is getting lots of coverage now-days with all the appointments and what-not), and a massage. I left there with pretty toes and a relaxed body and mind.
Last night I had to add 2 more shots into the mix. I normally inject 20 of Lupron, but that was knocked down to just 5 (yay!). Then I added 25 of Follistum, and 1 vial of Menopur - stings like a freakin-mo-fo! I seriously don't know why, but the Menopur just really stings. I let it sit for awhile, which helped last time, but that didn't seem to do the trick this time. Any tips on this one would be appreciated.
I talked to my nurse, with great concern in my voice, about how I am worried that I will hyperstim again. She assured me that they are watching me very closely and that they only prescribed 25 of Follistum when last time I had 75. That did seem to relieve my worries a bit.
My upcoming week is super busy...I have a Dr. appt in Spokane on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and next Sunday. I also have acupuncture on Tuesday and Wednesday of the upcoming week. Busy, busy, busy.
I will update again after my appt. on Monday.
Oh, and I am happy to report NO side effects so far on any of my injections. No Lupron headache, no extreme bitchiness, even my sleepiness has gone away. In fact, I feel downright energetic! Maybe the acupuncture is helping, maybe the change in my diet - whatever it is, it's bliss!
I also had my appointment to kick off this IVF series. I drove to Spokane bright and early Friday morning. I was happy to see that there weren't too many people in the waiting room. I had my blood drawn (aka "labs") and my super quick ultrasound - for those of you new to this blog, that would be an internal ultrasound with the big giant wand thingy - yuck! Things look good, so the Doc says. I have 10 follicles on my left ovary and 6 on my right. I thought this was a bit odd because my left ovary is sort of bench warmer - stands off to the side, never really does much, but I guess it has finally decided to get in the game.
I left my appointment and headed to my ever-relaxing spa day. I had a pedicure, a bikini wax (because let's face it...the bikini area is getting lots of coverage now-days with all the appointments and what-not), and a massage. I left there with pretty toes and a relaxed body and mind.
Last night I had to add 2 more shots into the mix. I normally inject 20 of Lupron, but that was knocked down to just 5 (yay!). Then I added 25 of Follistum, and 1 vial of Menopur - stings like a freakin-mo-fo! I seriously don't know why, but the Menopur just really stings. I let it sit for awhile, which helped last time, but that didn't seem to do the trick this time. Any tips on this one would be appreciated.
I talked to my nurse, with great concern in my voice, about how I am worried that I will hyperstim again. She assured me that they are watching me very closely and that they only prescribed 25 of Follistum when last time I had 75. That did seem to relieve my worries a bit.
My upcoming week is super busy...I have a Dr. appt in Spokane on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and next Sunday. I also have acupuncture on Tuesday and Wednesday of the upcoming week. Busy, busy, busy.
I will update again after my appt. on Monday.
Oh, and I am happy to report NO side effects so far on any of my injections. No Lupron headache, no extreme bitchiness, even my sleepiness has gone away. In fact, I feel downright energetic! Maybe the acupuncture is helping, maybe the change in my diet - whatever it is, it's bliss!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)