2ww

That stands for 2 week wait for those of you that don't speak infertile. It should be called the 2 worst weeks of waiting EVER!!! It is seriously torture waiting to take the beta test (pregnancy test).

I have decided that while I will report the outcome of this IVF round, I am not going to share the exact day that I go in for my test. I appreciate all the support I get and please, please keep praying for us. It's just...the first IVF, I got the call with my results while I was at work, late in the afternoon. I wasn't blogging then, so I had to call and relay the info to family and friends. That pretty much sucked!

The second round of IVF, I blogged. Which was a great because I didn't have to make the million phone calls. However, I was in Boise for the weekend, so I got the call while I was at McDonalds...which.....pretty much sucked. And everyone was waiting on pins and needles to find out the results, I felt obligated to instantly update the blog even though I felt really really terrible.

This time my plan is to go to my appointment quietly...no fanfare...go home and wait for my results. This way, if the results are not great, then I can grieve...by myself... where I can reflect on this process and get myself to a place where I can look to the future. If the results are positive, I will be holding my breath for 2 days until I can take the second test, and once I know I am pregnant for sure, I will shout it from the roof tops. I know the secrecy may seem silly but it is what feels right to me at this time.

Oh, I have had some symptoms during this 2ww, some good...some bad. I have had cramping and bloating, which I view as good because I am not really a crampy before my period kind of girl. Implantation maybe!?! However, I did breakout on my face a bit - in the exact same spot I always break out right before my period starts - Ugh! That's not a good symptom. Other than that, I feel pretty normal. I am getting more and more anxious for testing day to arrive and hope and pray that this time will be my time...that this time I won't hear the words "Miss Jennifer, it's not good honey".

Till next time....