One month

My babies are one month old. Seriously? Already 1 month? Where does the time go? I knew it would go by fast. This isn't my first go-a-round being a mommy you know. But still. Wow. 1 month.

Things have been a bit chaotic at our house. The girls are pretty good - they have their moments though, when I wonder what happened to my sweet little babies. I think I've been lucky as far as the nights go. I've had a couple bad nights where I needed to call Bobby in for reinforcements, but have mostly figured out how to get the girls fed, changed, and back to bed in under an hour and a half (with two, that is pretty good if you ask me). However....last night was not one of the "good" nights. Nope. Last night can only be described as a "what the hell kind of sick joke is it to give someone two screaming babies at one time" kind-of-night. Yep, my darling angels had had enough. They slept good for the first half of the night, but then they woke up at the same time to be fed. This scenario is never good because Briar is still not latching so I have to nurse Emma and feed Briar with a bottle. Sometimes I can do this simultaneously, but last night the girls were beyond pissed by the time I got to them, and each was demanding strict one-on-one mommy time. This means that while feeding one, I had the other one, purple faced, screaming at the top of her lungs, impatiently waiting her turn. There is nothing in the world that will make you feel more helpless than that. I joke that I feel like I am working in triage. Always accessing who needs me the most at that exact moment. It really is a matter of the squeaky wheel getting the oil.

I finally did get them both fed, burped, and changed. I even managed to have quieted them down and put them back in their crib. I slowly slipped into the twin bed in their room that I've been "sleeping" in and just as my weary head hit he pillow, they were at it again. Crying. In stereo. It was a little something like this, but lots louder with more urgency and red faces.

I picked up Briar because she was crying louder, which only irked Emma and elevated her volume of crying to a whole new level. The next hour and a half was spent holding both babies, putting one in the crib and soothing the other, only to have the calm baby start crying the moment I put her back in the crib. I tried the bouncy chair, I tried the swing, I tried putting them in bed with me, and then I did what all good mothers of twins do at one time or another. I gently lifted them onto my lap...looked at their little beet-red, screaming faces....and I joined in. Yep, I cried. I just sat there and cried. Not because I was frustrated really, but I was exhausted and at my wit's end. And if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

We cried like that for about 15 minutes. Then I told myself to "get it together". We obviously were done sleeping for the night and there was no point in pretending that I would get them to drift off dreamily in cribs at this point. So, change in plans. I went to Bobby's man's room, got lots of warm snuggly blankets, turned on the tv (volume up to an obnoxious level to drown out the crying) and just held the girls while watching tv until they finally gave up (about another half hour later, which at this point was 4:45am). Did I rock them while watching tv? No. Did I shush them or sing them wonderful little baby songs? Nadda. Did I maintain my sanity and eventually have 2 sleeping babies? You betcha. I don't feel good about letting them cry...it's a horrible feeling. But at least I was holding them and they knew that I was there with them. At my level of exhaustion, I think that's pretty darn good.

I know some of you are thinking that I should have dragged Bobby out of bed and made him help, and I did consider waking him up. But honestly, he needs his sleep because I need him to be not sleepy when he gets home from work so he can take over while I take a nap (plus he didn't get much sleep when we had Connor and that resulted in an epileptic seizure...an event that I would rather not happen again). It's probably not a perfect system, but it's our system and I know that I can always count on him if I needed him to get up.

Anywho, Connor is still totally in love with his sisters. Too cute. And he is a genius...he has been moved up to the 4 and 5 year old worksheets in preschool because the 3 year old ones were too easy. We were planning on putting him in Kindergarten when he's six, but now we're not so sure. Maybe we should put him in at age 5. I would love advice on this one :-)

We got the girls pictures taken yesterday. Or, rather we got their individual pics taken yesterday. We have to try again tomorrow for their joint pics. Someone should have told me that if you can't get their pics taken in the first week and a half of their lives (when they are really sleepy all the time) then you should just forget it because it is nearly impossible to get 2 babies to be cute and quiet at the exact same time. We did get some great pics though, and I am going to see if I can get permission to post a couple on my blog. So hopefully I can share those with all of you next week sometime.

Oh, and we did venture out of the house. Bobby and I took all the kids to Walmart and then we got really brave and decided we had just enough time before the girls needed fed to go to a restaurant. A sit-down restaurant. Yes, we are crazy. But we went and all the kids were great. No meltdowns or crying, and Bobby and I actually got to eat...hot food...together. And there was an actual conversation between us...with words, not just tired grunts to one another (lol). All in all, I would say our first family outing was a success!

Ok, better get going. I have attached a few pics for your viewing pleasure :-)

I just love this one because they are like little mirror images when they sleep sometimes.

What a typical guy. Used the last of the tp and didn't replace it. Also, totally fine hanging in the bathroom reading his toy magazine.