Sunday, July 26, 2009

Spotting *Update*

Well, the spotting has begun. I'm a little sad. I know it's weird to be sad because I was in no way, shape or form prepared to be pregnant with 3 babies, or even to take care of 3 little ones at one time. But still, it gave it it's best shot.

Today I woke up and felt like my period was about to start. I layed on the couch (yes, I went from laying in bed to laying on the's rainy here, and a lazy Sunday. Don't judge me). So anyway, I felt kind of crampy, so I layed on the couch and then it felt like my period started. I went to the bathroom and sure enough, I was bleeding.

At this point, one part of my brain is saying "you know this was going to happen. Don't freak out. The other 2 babies are going to be fine".

The other part of my brain is saying, "how can I be sure that the bleeding is from that third one? What if knocking down my dosages is affecting all of them? How much spotting is normal spotting?"

Because even when you are told that you are likely going to spot...seeing blood when you are pregnant is scary. It just is. There is no way around it.

So, now I am waiting for tomorrow, so I can call my nurse and report the spotting. I am sure she will make me feel a lot better about the whole thing. But in the meantime, it's just weird. What do I do? Do I go about my business while spotting? It feels insensitive and weird to just ignore it. Do I lay around all day just in case there is something going on with the other be on the safe side? Well, Bobby and I decided that I would kind of take it easy. I'm not on bed rest or anything, but I haven't done much of anything today. I think that's a good compromise.

Ok, I'll probably blog about what my nurse says about the spotting. I know this is riveting stuff :-) Till then.....

*I spoke to my nurse and she said to take it easy. Stay sitting, put my feet up. Basically take myself back to all of the rules of transfer exercise, no sex, minimum movement, etc. She told me the spotting is probably nothing, but to be really cautious this week and if the bleeding becomes more than spotting to call her and they will get me in for an ultrasound right away. Otherwise, I just need to wait until Friday to figure out what's going on. This was not really the reassurance I thought I would get. So, now I'm holding my breath till Friday hoping that the ultrasound will show that everything is still on track. I'll update after that appointment.

Friday, July 24, 2009

A little over 7 weeks

I would like to say time is flying, but this past week has gone by really, really slowly. Last Friday, we were awoken to Connor screaming...only to find that he had thrown up, massive amounts, in his bed. Uh-oh...looks like the summer stomach bug has hit our house. We got everything cleaned up and then repeated this process 2 more times. Yuck! I was exhausted the next day from being up all night and washing my hands like crazy, hoping the germs wouldn't pass to me.

No such luck. I had been generally queasy all weekend, off and on (thanks morning sickness), so when I felt sick on Monday morning I didn't think too much of it. But as the day progressed, I felt horrible. Nausea, fever, chills...the whole sha-bang. Guess what...when you get the flu and you have morning sickness, you are basically in nausea hell. The stomach queasiness is intensified to a level I have never felt before. I cried. I wanted to die. And the worst part was, I couldn't be sure that it was the stomach bug...I mean, I assumed it was, but in the back of my mind I thought, "OMG, what if this is what I am going to feel like for the next 5 weeks!?!". I was not a happy camper. Luckily 2 days later, I was on the mend and sadly enough was happy to just feel the same level of morning sickness I had felt prior to the stomach bug. It's not fun, but comparatively, it is heaven.

Anyway, so today I had my blood work and ultrasound. This is the week that I had to do it locally because my Dr. was on vacation. So I was sent to Pullman Regional Hospital (that's where they do this type of thing before you start at your regular OB). Connor was with me today because he and I are on vacation for the next week. Bobby couldn't make it because it was at 10am which was kind of in the middle of what he was doing. I didn't mind much, at this point I knew there wouldn't be anything too much different than last week.

I thought when Connor and I were done, we would go have lunch with a group of people from my work. So, we go in and the blood draw goes great. Only Connor decides today is the day he will tell random strangers that I have babies in my tummy. Yep, he would tell anyone that would listen. Ok, well, scratch lunch. I can't risk him outing me to the people at work.

Then we went in for my ultrasound. I was told this would be a belly one, to drink a bunch of water. When I got there, they changed their minds - oh, joy...another internal ultrasound. And lucky me, there was an intern in there, so I got to be a lesson plan. The ultrasound tech started the exam. (*side note...Connor sat in a chair quietly for 40 minutes as they did this exam! 40 minutes and not a peep or general disaster from boredom. What a champ *)
So anyway, I explain to her that we know there are 2 still "going" and that there is a third one that probably won't make it. She literally looked at me with her mouth wide open. "I've never done a triplet ultrasound before"... I'm like, no, no...not triplets. Just twins. The third likely won't make it. It didn't have a heartbeat. She informed me that if there are three sacs in there that technically right now, I am having triplets. I do not like this women...I want my regular doctor.

She starts measuring the babies. Baby A (the one that probably won't keep going). Has in fact not separated, and because they have a fancy Doppler ultrasound, they think they see a faint, slight heartbeat. Say what, now huh? There wasn't a hearbeat last week. Well, they can't be sure. "Stop breathing", I am instructed. Okey dokey. Holding my breath, holding my breath. There. There was a teeny tiny little orange flicker. She pulled out the graph heartbeat, flatline. She told me it's not showing up on the graph, but she thinks there might be a faint heartbeat. That baby is only measuring at barely 6 weeks. Way behind the others...

Ok, now on to the other two. Baby B and C are measuring great. Perfect, right on track. Heartbeats are 143 and 144. This is really good and strong. And these little bambinos are already taking up their fair share of real uterus is getting a little crowded. Below is a picture. The three black spots are the gestational sacs. You can see the little babies in the bottom 2 (which are B and C) the top one is Baby A. There is a tiny spot in there, but it's hard to see.

She measured my ovaries and my left is almost back to normal, but my right is still 3 times the normal size. No wonder I am still bloated.

I am finally let go. Connor and I head to the park, then home for a lovely 3 hour nap while I wait for the call from my nurse.

When she finally called, I have to admit...I was slightly freaked out that we thought we were having twins but the ultrasound tech seems to think we are having triplets. My nurse told me not to get too attached to Baby A, that things haven't really improved from last week, and she thinks that it may keep progressing at a small rate, but eventually will stop and be re-absorbed or I may have spotting. She told me that there is a small chance (just as we were told last week) but it isn't likely. Then she told me that next week is my last appointment with them and I will be released into the general population (that sounds a little prison like, but whatever). I told her I didn't think I was ready to be "released" and she reassured me that things would be fine and that she was always a phone call away. I also told her about my nausea (not throwing up, mind you. Just nauseous to the point I almost wish I would throw up for some relief. Ugh!). She told me that I just have to push through. To make sure I'm drinking lots of water, and to remember that I technically have 3 gestational sacs and all the hormones that go with them, so my symptoms might be intensified. I literally have no other symptoms other than nausea right now. Ok, maybe a little sleepiness, but truly mainly just nausea.

Then she told me the most wonderful these ears have heard since hearing I was pregnant. I have 7, yes...count them...S E V E N days of shots left! Woo hoo!!! And tonight I get to knock my progesterone shot dosage down to half and my estrace pill down by half as well. Yay, yay, yay! I am so excited. If I never have to have another shot in my ass, it will be too soon.

Ok, now for symptoms:

  • NAUSEA!!! I feel yucky. Not all the time. Some times I feel great. But the times I do have nausea are miserable moments. I have learned to eat a saltine when I get up at 3am (every stinkin night) to use the bathroom. This helps ward off the morning upset tummy. The time I feel the worst is between noon and 2:30pm and then a little in the evening.

  • Tired. Mainly still at the end of the day.

  • Aversions: Eggs. Even typing the word makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit.

  • Must haves: umm, crispy chicken sandwich from M.cD.onalds. Ok, I know this is neither good for me or the babies. But give me a break. I am down 6 pounds. No matter what I eat I keep losing or at the least, not gaining. And for some reason at 3pm when my queasiness has subsided, all I can think about is a crispy chicken sandwich. I literally have to have it. No other cravings really. Although I was reminded that 2 days before my beta test (pregnancy test) I told my mom I had to call her because I was about 2 seconds away from eating a spoonful of sour cream. Gross. I know. I thought it was because I needed dairy. But even thinking about wanting to eat a spoonful of sour cream grosses me out. I promise you, I have never done that before in my life, but that day... I almost did. Hmmmm...early craving maybe?

Next week is my last appointment. I am sure I will blog at least once before then. Happy Weekend everyone.

Friday, July 17, 2009

6w2d (6 Weeks, 2 Days)

Well, I am officially 1/2 way through my first tri-mester - woo hoo!

I had an appointment in Spokane today, and Bobby worked extra hard all week so that he could make the time to come with me this morning. It is so nice to have him there for these appointments, and I thought he would only be able to make it to the first one, so it was such a wonderful surprise.

When we got there we had a bit of a wait. There were a few other couples there before us. I had my blood drawn and when I got the call from my nurse later in the day, I was told everything looked great. In fact, my progesterone levels are so good that I could actually go down to 1/2 mml (to start the weaning process) but because protocol says wait until 39 days post transfer, that's what they are having me do. So next Friday I will knock my progesterone dose down for another 7 days or so and more shots!!! You have no idea how thrilling this news is for me. I have had hundreds of shots this year and I can honestly say I will not miss them one bit.

Then we had our ultrasound.

We were planning to keep the number of baby/babies we are having a secret. But anyone that knows us, knows that we are not really the secret keeping type. Hence this blog where I share every stinkin intimate detail. So, anyway...last week on my blog I said that he for sure could see one sac but there was the potential for more. hee hee, hee hee. Well, that wasn't entirely truthful.

You see, what the Dr. actually saw were 2 little sacs, and possibly a third. hee hee. So we've known for a week that we are in fact at least having TWINS!!! The iffy part was whether or not we were having triplets.

So, today we went in and saw the most beautiful site ever (well 2nd most beautiful site...the first of course being seeing my son born). We saw the heartbeats. Both babies were growing right on target, and both babies had strong heartbeats - 118 and 120 respectively. It was so cool to see. Bobby said it looked like they were shining little flashlights and turning them on and off, on and off. We didn't get to hear it - too soon for that, but seeing it was still pretty darn cool.

The doctor then asked if I had any bleeding. I said "no" but felt slightly freaked out. He told me there is definitely a third one in there and that it is growing a bit, but that it is separating from my uterus and doesn't have a heartbeat. This was tough to hear. Don't get me wrong...triplets scare the heck out of me...but still we felt sort of sad that it wasn't progressing like the other two. He said it was unlikely that it would "rebound" and we are most likely for sure looking at Twins. Holy Moly...2 babies!

Anyway, so that is our news. As always, I'm still not announcing to the world at large till the 12th week, so please, please don't post anything on facebook.

Oh, my next appt is next Friday but because their office will be closed for vacations, my blood work and ultrasound will be down here (yay for not having to drive 2 hours). I am excited for the next appt., but feel so much more at ease now that I have seen the little hearts beating. I occasionally have those thoughts of "it's still early" etc, etc, but then I think to myself...why shouldn't I have a healthy pregnancy - stop being all doom and gloom and enjoy it. So that's what I am trying to do. IVF makes you so worried about everything, I swear.

Ok, now for the symptoms:
  • I have nausea. This comes and goes and I wouldn't call it severe by any means. Some days I have none, some days I have it for a little bit, then it goes away. I have found that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, or banana nut bread make my tummy feel a lot better. My good friend told me that she was told peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were great because of the protein, and I think she's right. I think I may be in for more nausea as I was told symptoms are intensified with multiples.
  • Hunger! I am hungry. I am hungry nearly all the time. I will feel starved, but then I will just eat a few bites and feel full - sometimes. Sometimes, I am so freakin hungry I will eat like I'm in a competition. Oddly, last week I lost 4 pounds. And now I am holding steady. You would think I would be gaining weight like wild fire with all this eating. (I am trying to keep it healthy and stick with a lot of what my acupuncturist told me to do). I know it is early but I definetly feel like I am eating for 3 :-)
  • Sore breasts - yeah, not so much. They were in the beginning, but now just a teeny tiny bit.
  • Sleepiness. Ok, I admit it. There were 2 days where I was exhausted. But those 2 days also happened to be really busy days. Everyone told me to take a nap at work. But I actually feel energetic during the day. It is at about 6pm that I start to get really tired. I've been going to bed shortly after Connor, so I am certain I am getting plenty of sleep. I just thought I would feel much more tired. I guess maybe that is still to come. Or, I am used to being tired because I am chasing a toddler all of the time.
  • Bloated. I have the pregnancy bloat. My stomach is gross. It already looks like I am pregnant. Luckily this is going away, and my ovaries are slowly going back to their normal size. I can still button my pants, so that's good news. I was told with twins, I can expect my pants to start feeling a little snug around the 9th week and then things move pretty quickly from there. Oh, and I'll add this here because I don't think it warrents it's own bullet: Gas. It has to be said. And I know, I know...TMI. But seriously, I have it...bad.

Well folks, that's about all for today. I'm glad to share our news with the blogworld, and can't wait for the day we can share it with the whole world. Oh, and originally we weren't going to find out the sex of the baby (when we thought we might have one) but now we are thinking maybe we should. Other mommies...I would love to hear your thoughts. We found out with Connor, so the surprise might be nice, but how do you prepare for 2 babies if you don't the sex!?! Thoughts?

Friday, July 10, 2009

5 weeks, 2 days...

...that is officially how pregnant I am. Don't you love that they count clear back to when the date of your last period was - or in an IVFers case, the date of when your last period would have been if you weren't so hopped up on hormones. It makes it feel like time is just flying by.

So, I had my appointment this morning. Bobby was able to make the trip with me because I was having a blood draw and we were getting our first ultrasound (Yes, it is still an internal ultrasound).

I would like to say that it was really changing. Yet, it was really hard to see anything. My ovaries are really, really swollen. So much so, that they are actually touching eachother. This made getting the little wand thingy to my uterus difficult. He had to maneuver it in all different directions - I was like, c'mon guy...give me a break. How would you like it if I twisted that thing all around your insides?

Anywho, we finally saw my uterus and were able to see that the number of babies we are having is.......

Um, yeah...we couldn't get a good look. We could see one sac, so we know we are pregnant - but there is a chance that he glimpsed more than one, but he can't be sure. I asked him how many he thought we were having and he said "time will tell". Thanks buddy, so apparently we are having anywhere between 1 and God knows how many babies. Hopefully next week, we will get a better pic. They did send me home with an ultrasound picture, but I'm not posting it because it is really just a picture of my uterus with an arrow where the above mentioned sac looked to be but wasn't caught on camera. And I know you must all feel like, at this point, you have an intimate relationship with my uterus, but there really is no need to show the darn thing to the whole world at this point.

My nurse called a little bit ago and told me my numbers look great! My beta numbers are rising as they should and my progesterone and estrace are still on track. Yay! I did have the chance to ask some questions:
  1. Q) When can I have sex and resume exercise? A) Today! Yay for today. I just have to keep my heart rate below 140 and do light activity (for exercise, although maybe that applies to sex too - lol!)
  2. Q) What week am I in? A) K- I was pretty sure I knew the answer to this, but I wanted to know exactly. 5 weeks and 2 days
  3. Q) Due date? A) March 9th :-)
  4. Q) How much longer do I see the Dr in Spokane before I am transferred to my local OBGYN? A) 3 more weeks. I go every Friday for three weeks and then I am officially done at the Center. Woo - hoo!

Now for my symptoms: -

  • Nausea has stopped (for now)
  • Breasts still sore, but hasn't gotten worse
  • Not very tired, but everyone keeps asking me if I am exhausted. Should I be?
  • Sweets do not appeal to me, but give me something salty and I will love it! Plus, I feel like I can eat tacos at every meal - which is funny because I have a friend who is newly pregnant that says the same thing.
  • Cramping...I had some pretty bad cramping the other night. When I stand up I will get a pulling sensation on one side or the other (I think this might be my ovaries being so swollen).

My next appointment is next Friday. I am sure I will post at least once before then...

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Worse than the 2ww

Ok, I thought the 2ww was hell...turns out the wait for the first ultrasound is about 10 times worse. I thought I would blog again, partly to kill some time, but also because I have had numerous people ask me what I did different this round of IVF or what I think "did the trick this time".

First off, I truly believe the reason we are pregnant is God. I think prayer helped, and just as God answered our prayers with Connor he once again has heard us and blessed us. I just keep praying that he will let us see this pregnancy through and that at some point we will be able to breath a sigh of relief :-)

As for the things I did differently, here's a little list:
  • I did acupuncture (and cupping). This was beneficial because it relieved stress and I had the Best acupuncturist
  • I ate the pineapple. Ok, I have to admit...I cheated a little on this one. I did divide my organic pineapple up into five equal portions (including the core), but it gave me really bad heartburn. So, I stretched it out over 6 and a half days. I don't think it hurt anything.
  • I cut all dairy. All dairy, you ask? Yep, all dairy was gone from my diet.
  • I cut red meat and severely limited animal protein. Also, I tried to eat a lot of organic.
  • I lost 10 pound during this series (probably because of my massive dietary changes). But keep in mind, those 10 pounds were pounds gained during the whole hyperstim fiasco
  • Anytime I felt stressed I would take a slow deep breath and think the word "blue" while imagining the color blue slowly entering my body. I heard somewhere this was a good relaxation tool and I have to agree, it really works.
  • Instead of making small talk during the transfer, I was quiet (odd for me) and enjoyed every minute of the process.
  • I rested and rested and rested after my transfer. To the point where I was bored out of my mind.
  • I taught Connor how to get in and out of the carseat, bathtub, booster seat, etc. by himself so I wouldn't have to lift him. And I made sure not to lift anything over 10 lbs.
  • I did all of the above because no matter the outcome, I wanted to have no regrets. I wanted to know that I had done everything in my power to help this process.

That's basically it. I am on pins and needles waiting for the ultrasound. Oh, and I've been asked if I have had any pregnancy symptoms - I saw on someone else's blog that they kind of updated symptoms each time and I thought I would do the same.

Symptoms: sore breasts (but mostly just when I first wake up), waves of naseau - this symptom is weird because it happened alot yesterday and I've had none today, and it mostly hits me if I smell cantaloupe (ok, so stop smelling cantaloupe, right?), and I'm a little emotional (I'm feeling a little weepy - this could be the estrogen and progesterone I'm taking).

That's all for now. I'm not saying I love morning sickness because I'm not a freak who loves feeling like she just got off a carnival ride, however, having symptoms/feeling things related to pregnancy is strangely reassuring. Since I haven't really felt anything today, I feel like I should pos to double check that things are still happening in there. I probably won't, but this darn IVF process has made me not trust anything.

Alrighty, probably should stop yapping at ya. Update on Friday :-)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Results are here....

That's right test was BFP...Positive...I am officially, as of this moment, pregnant!!!
Now, before you get all excited, (which trust me, I am excited too!) please remember it is really, really early and that right now, while loving that I am pregnant and soaking in every moment, I am moving forward with cautious optimism. That being said.....holy s&!@!!! I'm actually pregnant!
Ok, now for the details of my week. I went in for my test on Wednesday, July 1st. I was really nervous because I really did keep trying to imagine getting that positive phone call, but my mind just kept going back to the negative phone call and I felt like it just wasn't in the cards for me. Granted I had been having some cramping - it was like a band of achiness across my entire abdomen. And I had been gassy (sorry if that's TMI, but it's the truth). However, I also broke out terribly on my chin, which normally means AF is on her way. But then, it happened...I was getting my pjs on the night before my test and I looked down at my chest and saw big, bright blue, (neon blue almost) veins. These veins were new to me - never seen them before and I had a feeling.

Not a, "k, I know I'm pregnant feeling" but more of a "omigosh, maybe I could be pregnant" feeling. I called Bobby in to look and got the normal male response - he didn't really notice anything different. So I kind of brushed it off.
So I go in, have my blood drawn (no waiting in the waiting room because there was only one other person there) and then I got in the car for the 2 hour drive home. My plan was to be at my house, just as I had planned all the times before. But as usual things didn't go quite as planned. My phone rang at 8:15am. It was the dr.'s office. NEVER in the past year have I gotten a phone call back that early, and when I saw the number, I knew. I just knew...I was pregnant. I picked up the call and my nurse made a little small talk - get to the good stuff already!
Finally, she told me "congratulations, your pregnant". I screamed, then asked her if she was messing with me because it was a really mean joke. She assured me that she was in fact very serious and that as soon as she saw my numbers she had to call right away. My numbers...oh, yeah...what were my numbers? She told me that my beta number was 224! That this is a fantastic number. Then, as I am still freaking out, she told me to pull my car over because she was scared I was going to get in an accident. Which was probably a good thing because I think I had forgotten I was driving at that point. She instructed me to come back to the dr. for a second blood test on Friday to confirm by having my numbers double. I told her I would be there, hung up the phone, and made some important calls: to Bobby of course, family and one close friend who I swore to secrecy (thanks EJ!). All gave me the most wonderful reaction (actually Bobby didn't believe me because I was calling so early, but soon he decided that I wasn't lying and was a little shocked, but very happy!) and I was floating on cloud nine the entire drive home.
So, I get home and have to call to refill my progesterone because I was almost out. Looks like I will be giving shots for another couple of months. Then I had to run to the store, and figured while I was there why not pick up a little hpt just for fun.
That's right, I took a home pregnancy test. After 6 years of seeing only 1 pink line, you can imagine my elation when not a second after I took the test did both pink lines show up. And they weren't a little faint pink, those suckers were dark pink. Bobby laughed at me because he thought it was funny that we paid a dr. over $30,000 to tell us we were pregnant, but I needed to take a $13 hpt to confirm it :-)
Anyway, on with my long story. I went in on Friday (since my mom was in town, she took the drive with me) and had my second test. The nurse left me a message because I forgot my phone.
*side note: forgetting my phone was actually pretty hilarious because everyone in my family was freaking out that I would miss the phone call and I was the only calm one...which is kind of weird for me.*
Anyway, the nurse said that my numbers more than doubled (awesome). So yay for me! She told me that I need to go back to the dr. next Friday at 7am for bloodwork and an ultrasound. Yay for me again!
I still kind of can't believe it. Since finding out, I have had a few symptoms but nothing too big. I am bloated which is mostly from the progesterone I think. Other than that, I don't really feel different. With the 4th of July weekend, Bobby and I haven't even had a chance to talk about it really. We are excited, and are hoping and praying that we can see this pregnancy through without complications. We're taking it day by day...but finally, finally, I can say that I am pregnant :-)
Oh, one thing...I am sort of keeping this on the dl outside of the blogworld, so if you're a facebook friend of mine...please don't congrats me and mention this little life changing event yet. I'm not telling work until later and some of the people I work with are on there. Plus it's so early that although I don't mind blogging about it, it feels weird to let the whole world know when it is so early and so much can happen still. I will update again after my appointment on Friday.
Till then....