Wednesday, April 28, 2010

new blog address

Here's my new blog address:

I hope you'll follow me over to this blog :-)

Monday, March 29, 2010

Last post...

Yep, you've read correctly. This will be my last post. Well, not last post ever...but my last post on the "Jennifer's IVF and Adventures in Pregnancy" blog. Since I am no longer going through IVF or pregnancy, I thought it appropriate to finish up this blog and start fresh. It's time to let go of my infertility and enjoy the wonderful blessings in my life. SO, I will be starting a new blog in the next week or so. I will of course put a link on this blog so anyone that wants to keep following the girls or just the Wilson family in general can get to the new blog and I will leave this blog up for awhile, so anyone going through IVF can read about my experience if they would like. Check back for that link :-)

I was trying to think of how to end this blog. I wish I was the kind of person who could sum all of my experiences up into a neat little package with parting words that are not only wise, but meaningful and touching...however, that's just not me. So here's what I want to say:

Infertility sucks! It sucks so bad that you can't possibly explain how badly it sucks. Only those who go through it can truly understand the turmoil it can bring to your life. It's been a long road that I hope to never travel again. I would like to say that it made me stronger and in some ways, maybe it did. But mostly it made me bitter (at times), heartbroken (at times) and eventually filled with joy at the final outcome.

We are coming to a point where we are going to need to decide what to do with our leftover embryos. We have 8. They are left from my second IVF cycle so this month they will have been stored for a year. What to do, what to do...I know this is controversial. Our options are to use them, donate to another couple, to dispose of them, or to possibly donate them to scientific research (although this option isn't available in some states and I am not to sure how this would work). We aren't sure what we are going to do and frankly, having the babies is still so new it seems premature to make such a big decision right now. SO, we are going to pay to store them one more year (a hefty price tag for that, I might add). This will give us some time to think about what we are going to do.

Also, I still have my "tub o fun" under my bathroom sink. There is nothing of value in this tub. Some expired meds, needles, alchohol swabs, etc. But for some reason, I can't bring myself to clean it out. What the heck am I holding onto? It's not like I'm a won't see me on some TLC show, but still...I just can't seem to bring myself to face that tub just yet. So, it looks like that will stay, as is, under my sink for awhile.

Do I still consider myself infertile even though I made it successfully through a pregnancy? You betcha. I wear my battle wounds with pride and will gladly talk to anyone about my experience with infertility. A pregnancy doesn't erase all that I have been through, even if it does lessen the sting a bit. It seems sort of fitting that it was 7 years ago in February that we started this whole thing and February is when our girls were born, ending it. 7 long years. Are we done having kids? I don't think so, but maybe. Will we try to get pregnant again? I don't think so, but maybe. Will we adopt again? It's always a possibility. As of right now, we are going to enjoy our kids and the life we have. Time will tell what happens beyond that.

So, for anyone that wants to follow the Wilson family, check back in the next week or so for the link to the new page (there will be an update on the girls and some pics). For those of you that are done following...thanks for the support and for always rooting for our success. We appreciate it :-)


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

One month

My babies are one month old. Seriously? Already 1 month? Where does the time go? I knew it would go by fast. This isn't my first go-a-round being a mommy you know. But still. Wow. 1 month.

Things have been a bit chaotic at our house. The girls are pretty good - they have their moments though, when I wonder what happened to my sweet little babies. I think I've been lucky as far as the nights go. I've had a couple bad nights where I needed to call Bobby in for reinforcements, but have mostly figured out how to get the girls fed, changed, and back to bed in under an hour and a half (with two, that is pretty good if you ask me). However....last night was not one of the "good" nights. Nope. Last night can only be described as a "what the hell kind of sick joke is it to give someone two screaming babies at one time" kind-of-night. Yep, my darling angels had had enough. They slept good for the first half of the night, but then they woke up at the same time to be fed. This scenario is never good because Briar is still not latching so I have to nurse Emma and feed Briar with a bottle. Sometimes I can do this simultaneously, but last night the girls were beyond pissed by the time I got to them, and each was demanding strict one-on-one mommy time. This means that while feeding one, I had the other one, purple faced, screaming at the top of her lungs, impatiently waiting her turn. There is nothing in the world that will make you feel more helpless than that. I joke that I feel like I am working in triage. Always accessing who needs me the most at that exact moment. It really is a matter of the squeaky wheel getting the oil.
I finally did get them both fed, burped, and changed. I even managed to have quieted them down and put them back in their crib. I slowly slipped into the twin bed in their room that I've been "sleeping" in and just as my weary head hit he pillow, they were at it again. Crying. In stereo. It was a little something like this, but lots louder with more urgency and red faces.

I picked up Briar because she was crying louder, which only irked Emma and elevated her volume of crying to a whole new level. The next hour and a half was spent holding both babies, putting one in the crib and soothing the other, only to have the calm baby start crying the moment I put her back in the crib. I tried the bouncy chair, I tried the swing, I tried putting them in bed with me, and then I did what all good mothers of twins do at one time or another. I gently lifted them onto my lap...looked at their little beet-red, screaming faces....and I joined in. Yep, I cried. I just sat there and cried. Not because I was frustrated really, but I was exhausted and at my wit's end. And if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

We cried like that for about 15 minutes. Then I told myself to "get it together". We obviously were done sleeping for the night and there was no point in pretending that I would get them to drift off dreamily in cribs at this point. So, change in plans. I went to Bobby's man's room, got lots of warm snuggly blankets, turned on the tv (volume up to an obnoxious level to drown out the crying) and just held the girls while watching tv until they finally gave up (about another half hour later, which at this point was 4:45am). Did I rock them while watching tv? No. Did I shush them or sing them wonderful little baby songs? Nadda. Did I maintain my sanity and eventually have 2 sleeping babies? You betcha. I don't feel good about letting them's a horrible feeling. But at least I was holding them and they knew that I was there with them. At my level of exhaustion, I think that's pretty darn good.

I know some of you are thinking that I should have dragged Bobby out of bed and made him help, and I did consider waking him up. But honestly, he needs his sleep because I need him to be not sleepy when he gets home from work so he can take over while I take a nap (plus he didn't get much sleep when we had Connor and that resulted in an epileptic event that I would rather not happen again). It's probably not a perfect system, but it's our system and I know that I can always count on him if I needed him to get up.

Anywho, Connor is still totally in love with his sisters. Too cute. And he is a genius...he has been moved up to the 4 and 5 year old worksheets in preschool because the 3 year old ones were too easy. We were planning on putting him in Kindergarten when he's six, but now we're not so sure. Maybe we should put him in at age 5. I would love advice on this one :-)
We got the girls pictures taken yesterday. Or, rather we got their individual pics taken yesterday. We have to try again tomorrow for their joint pics. Someone should have told me that if you can't get their pics taken in the first week and a half of their lives (when they are really sleepy all the time) then you should just forget it because it is nearly impossible to get 2 babies to be cute and quiet at the exact same time. We did get some great pics though, and I am going to see if I can get permission to post a couple on my blog. So hopefully I can share those with all of you next week sometime.

Oh, and we did venture out of the house. Bobby and I took all the kids to Walmart and then we got really brave and decided we had just enough time before the girls needed fed to go to a restaurant. A sit-down restaurant. Yes, we are crazy. But we went and all the kids were great. No meltdowns or crying, and Bobby and I actually got to food...together. And there was an actual conversation between us...with words, not just tired grunts to one another (lol). All in all, I would say our first family outing was a success!
Ok, better get going. I have attached a few pics for your viewing pleasure :-)

I just love this one because they are like little mirror images when they sleep sometimes.
What a typical guy. Used the last of the tp and didn't replace it. Also, totally fine hanging in the bathroom reading his toy magazine.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Due Date!

Today is the day I was due to have my girls. I can't believe that instead of heading to the hospital to deliver what probably would have been a couple of 9 lb babies, I am sitting here watching my almost 3 week old little ones sleep. Wow!

So, today started off with me putting on my sweatshirt - it was next to the bed because I had taken it off in the middle of the night...only to discover that inside my sweatshirt was what can only be described as a cold, nasty lump of regurgitated cat food. Ugh! If that was going to set the tone for this day, then I want to go back to bed please. Hopefully, that will be the worst, or at least the grossest thing, that will happen today. But those of you with newborns, or better yet...newborn twins, knows that it's possible that was just the beginning.

The girls are getting into a rhythm and really are pretty good babies. They have some fussy times, but we can go most of the day without crying or crabbiness, so I consider that a victory. And I am happy to say I had a dream last night. Which means....I slept long enough to get into a REM cycle. I haven't had a dream since I was in the hospital, so I was practically giddy about this. Granted this "big sleep" I had was about 3 and a half hours long, but that feels like a lot in the middle of the night.

Ok, short post I know. But the little ladies are taking a siesta, so I am going to enjoy a cup of coffee goodness and read the paper.

Till next time....

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Life with twins and a preschooler!

Wow - things are super busy at out house! I was so lucky to have had my dad here to take care of Connor while I was in the hospital and my mom here for the first 2 weeks home with the girls. But now it's just us. My little family. And we are slowly but surely navigating our way through this crazy time of newborn twins and a very active preschooler.

Connor has been a dream child when it comes to his sisters. He is my diaper and burping helper and just loves his sisters so much that sometimes it's actually a little too much. We have to remind him to back away from the babies because he is always in their faces, kissing them and holding their little hands. I thought the "new" would wear off, but the amount of love that he has for the girls is out of this world. I was worried that he would feel left out or a little jealous, but the only thing that he's said so far is that he doesn't want me to leave again (when I was in the hospital) because it made him feel sad and he thought maybe I wouldn't come back. - Break your heart, right? I assured him that I wouldn't leave like that again and then he was off to other things.

The girls are growing so fast. I can't believe that they are almost 3 weeks old. My original due date was March 9th, which is Tuesday. I think we will do something to mark the occasion, but not sure just what that will be.

Ok, so I know a lot of you have been asking what the babies are like, so this blog will be mostly about that.

Emma and Briar are complete opposites of one another. Emma loves to be swaddled, Briar...not so much. Briar is a sympathetic crier. Emma could care less if Briar is crying. This is interesting because if Emma starts crying, I need to get it under control in a quick manner or I'll have two sad babies. I think Briar is just a little more sensitive that way. Emma will go to sleep if you put her to bed. Briar needs to be held to go to sleep. The list goes on and on. I know that they are individuals and all that, but I just really wasn't expecting them to be this different. It's amazing to see their little personalities forming and while I am loving every minute of them being babies, I find myself getting excited for future milestones - having twins is one of the hardest but most awesome things I think I've ever done.

Sleep. Um, yeah...we aren't getting much of that around here. I know this is a temporary thing, but I think I am almost to that point where I just want to cry because it seems like I will never sleep again - ever. Sad.

Breastfeeding. I'm still going with this. I never in a million years thought I would be someone that would like doing this, but I kind of do and am just not ready to give it up yet. We are having our struggles though. Briar is finicky and rarely nurses. So feeding the girls is very time consuming - I feel like I should just walk around topless to expedite the process. I nurse Emma for about 1/2 hour, then I feed Briar a bottle of breast milk, then I pump to try to keep up my milk supply. I am producing enough milk but just barely. If for some reason I need to give both girls a bottle then I end up using all the breast milk I have in the fridge and the following feeding for Briar has to be formula. Oh and they are on a 3 hour feeding schedule, so this process takes about half of that time. Sometimes in the middle of the night I'll get lucky and can tandem feed them, but it all depends on Briar's mood. I think I need to meet with a lactation consultant. It's exhausting...and yet, I just don't want to stop quite yet.

Me. My c-section incision has healed quite nicely and I doubt the scar will be noticeable at all. I am off the pain meds and feeling really good. I can drive again and can go for walks with the girls, but have to wait one more month before I can exercise. That's ok with me. I want to start exercising, but seriously...when do I have the time right now? Oh, and I'm back on the caffeine. Yep, I have given in to the sweet alertness that it provides me. Oh, and I am super hormonal. Like, cry at the drop of a hat, hormonal. Bobby thinks it's funny. I think it's annoying. I can't wait for my body to sort through all the hormones and regulate itself again.

My follow up dr. appt went well. Blood pressure is close to normal, but I need to stay on the bp medicine for awhile. My doc brought up the topic that makes us laugh...birth control. She asked what we were planning on using. We told her nothing, but she advised we reconsider because she's seen infertile people get pregnant right after having a baby. We are considering it, but honestly...birth control? I absolutely refuse to get back on the pill. I am done loading my body full of hormones. Trust me, I don't want to be pregnant with new babies in the house, but the chances of that are so minimal (pretty much non-existent) that I think we are just going to risk it. My doctor really advises against this, but I think we've made up our minds.

Till next time...

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Water retention is almost gone!

Woo hoo! Check this feet are almost back to normal. Hallelujah!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

On the road to recovery

So there I was, healing in the hospital. Bobby just ended up stayed with me for all of the days and nights after the babies were born (poor guy stayed in the hospital almost as long as I did). It was sort of an endless stream of feeding the babies, sleeping, trying to walk around as best I could. We had all of our nurses stop by for a visit at one time of another. Turns out, I was the longest patient there at the time, and I think they developed a special fondness for my girls. It was a little sad saying good-bye to all those wonderful people.

Anyway, so we are thinking "whew" - We had made it through. Everything was looking great. Until my blood pressure was checked when I got off the magnesium sulfate. It was through the roof! I mean really high. Higher than it has ever been. Plus, I was retaining so much water it felt like my feet would bust open. I couldn't even bend my ankles at one point - ouch! Here is a little visual for you all:

They decided to monitor my bp at more regular intervals and informed me that if it didn't go down, I wouldn't be released as planned. What!?! I swear I thought there was a conspiracy to keep me at that darn hospital. They wanted me to make minimum movements - so basically back to bed rest and to keep the lights low and basically try to remain stress free. Uh, I just gave birth to 2, count them, 2 babies. Yep, stress free was gonna be easy.
Needless to say, my bp just kept rising and rising. They did keep us an extra day and finally agreed to let me go home, with a prescription of bp medicine and a promise that I would have my bp checked by my local dr 2 days later. I agreed, and I did have it checked...still high. This is something that I will have to talk to my doc about up my follow up appt this week.
Anywho, the girls did great on their Apgar, hearing tests, and jaundice tests. Emma was given a fully clean bill of health. Briar on the other hand had a little heart murmur. In fact there were 3 issues with her heart. The first two were heart murmurs. One that should clear up within 72 hours and the other was something that normally cleared up on it's own within a couple of weeks. Last checked it looked like both of these had cleared up.
The third thing was a little different. It's called Ventricular septal defect (vsd) and basically Briar has 3 teeny tiny holes between 2 of her heart chambers. They saw these on an ekg. Sometimes this clears up on it's own (here's hoping!). Otherwise they will monitor it and may possibly have to go in through a vein in her leg, up to her heart and patch it. If it gets worse (unlikely) then she may have to have actual surgery. The dr. used the term "open heart surgery" which frankly I think should never be used around new parents, even if the possibility of it is not likely. That's just a scary thing to hear. So, right now we just watch it. She has an appointment with a cardiologist in about 5 weeks and hopefully the little holes will have healed.
That's about it for the birth story. They finally let us leave the hospital, and we made the 2 hour trek home. I had been gone for 25 days and was thrilled to get back to my house. My mom has been here helping us out (thank goodness), and my dad was given a reprieve from taking care of Connor for the past 3 weeks.
The nights have been long, and the girls seem to like to tag team their crying, but we are figuring each other out slowly but surely. Breastfeeding started off pretty great, but the girls had lost weight so we had to supplement with formula and now we are having all kinds of issues. Half the time I am tempted to throw in the towel and go to formula, and half the time I feel inspired to see it through. It takes a lot more of a commitment than I realized and I'm not sure what I will end up doing.
Things with me are slowly going back to normal. I am losing weight at a pretty good pace - almost back to my pre-prego weight. Now I just need to get down to my pre-IVF weight and then my pre-infertility weight. (looks like I have a ways to go). I still look 5 months pregnant regardless of the weight loss, and I am not loving what I've been told is called "twin skin". You see, when I was pregnant my skin was stretched so tight that now it just kind of hangs around my middle. Oh and to make things a little more cruel, spots where I never saw stretch marks are showing stretch marks - how the heck did that happen?
Bobby keeps reminding me that it was only a week and a half ago that we had these babies and to give it time. But when you have put your body through all I have these past 7 years, you kind of forget what you used to look like, and then you get a little anxious to get back to that place.
Alright, I suppose that just about sums it all up.
Till next time.....

Friday, February 26, 2010


Ok, where was I? Oh yes, my c-section...

So, there I was, being bombarded with people talking to me. They were explaining the epidural and how it would work. I explained that I was really freaked out because it kept wearing off and I was worried that would happen during the section. They kept reassuring me, but it didn't help. One of my favorite nurses (the one with the ice packs) came in, I started crying and she asked if I was ok. I told her I was freaking out, and she asked what I was freaking out about. I listed all my worries and like an angel, we talked about each one until I had finally calmed down. Seriously, she has to be one of the best nurses ever.

I also had about 5 people all around me, moving the ice packs, unhooking me to monitors, re-hooking me up to things, etc. They threw some scrubs at Bobby and he quickly changed. It all happened so fast, it's kind of a blur.

They sent Bobby to a waiting room and wheeled me into the Baby delivery OR. I was now shaking uncontrollably at this point, partially due to the fever, partially due to labor, and mostly due to fear I suspect. The OR was rather chaotic. People were hustling around, I was moved to a table, they strapped my feet down, and showed me where I could rest my arms. They put oxygen in my nose and started testing whether or not my epidural was sufficient. I told them my right side was completely numb, but that I could feel their little scratch test on my left. They said they were adjusting. I just kept asking where Bobby was...things seemed to be moving so fast and it was becoming very apparent that what I thought was just a run of the mill c-section was more of an emergency c-section. Where the hell was Bobby!?!

They finally let Bobby in. I was so happy to see him. He sat by my head, and the Doc started the section. Remember when I said I had a little feeling left on my left side and they said they were adjusting it. Well, they never rechecked and left side wasn't completely numb. It felt like this stinging, burning sensation that hurt like a mo-fo. My right side? Nothing, just a little pressure and tugging. My left side, son-of-a-%&*@#!

I told them what I was feeling and they said they were trying to fix it, but it would take time and I could either grin and bear it or they could knock me out. If they knocked me out, Bobby would have had to leave the room, so I chose the grin and bear it option - only I didn't really grin so much as I complained about the pain pretty much the entire time.

Emma was born at 8:24pm. It was the weirdest feeling. It was a lot of tugging, then relief. Like I had this bowling ball lifted off my I hadn't taken a real breath in 9 months, and suddenly my lungs were full of air - it's hard to describe, but it was certainly a welcome feeling. They showed the baby to us and took over to clean her up. Briar was born 2 minutes later at 8:26pm. Same feelings, only this time when they were done, I felt a little empty. Relieved still, but empty - my pregnancy was officially over.

Bobby went over to the babies and brought them over to show me. By now, because the babies were out of me, they were able to give me some pretty heavy narcotics, so I was officially out of it. I vaguely remember seeing my girls - I wish that moment had been different. Bobby and the girls left and the Doc started stitching me up. Whatever they gave me to knock me out made me violently ill and the rest of my time in the OR was spent vomiting anything I had eaten for the last 10 years. I was told they'd never seen someone throw up so much in the OR - do I get a special award for that? I also lost quite a bit of blood and had to be given a medication to slow the bleeding. To put it mildly, I was a shit show. Things did not go smoothly -but in the end, all that matters is that my girls were born healthy.

From this point on, it was all a blur. Little bits and pieces of time are all I can recollect during the 3 or 4 hours I was in recovery. Bobby coming in and being so excited about our girls. Nurses attending to me. Pain, then no pain. Blur.

I was finally wheeled to my room. They put us back in the Ante-partum unit, because I was being started on magnesium sulfate (to stop any seizure that my pre-e might cause) and the nurses in this unit were better at attending to "high risk" patients. I was also on a saline drip, pitocin, and some pretty nice happy drugs - I think I had a total of 5 IV's plugged into my port.

I visited with my mom and Bobby's mom. I got to see my babies - Finally! And I attempted to nurse. It was a very busy night. The magnesium sulfate wasn't as bad as everyone says. I never felt sick, just really dry mouthed. Like desert dry. Like cotton mouth, sand paper, someone give me a freakin drink of water dry. Yuck! The mag was to be administered for 24 hours. I was given ice chips to eat in moderation and a wet wash cloth to suck on. This was a very long night. I had a little pain, was thirsty and was trying to absorb all that had happened in the past couple of days.

The next day, I was feeling better - still super thirsty. Since I was doing so well, they allowed me some orange slices (I misunderstood and ate the whole orange - oops), a Popsicle and things like that. I probably would have paid a million dollars for a Popsicle at that point, and actually cried when I ate it because it was such a relief. I nursed as best I could all day. The lactation consultant came in and gave me some tips. I tried tandem feeding for the first time. It was ok, but not something I felt I could do on a regular basis by myself. I could tell I was on the mend, and kept pestering my doc to tell me how long I would be the hospital - I had been there 20 days and was ready to be home. They said they would keep me for about 4 days and then release me.

Oh, and the girls. My beautiful girls! They were born so healthy, they didn't even have to go to the NICU to be evaluated. I had done it. I made it to 37 weeks. I helped to ensure my girls would be born healthy. I avoided the scary NICU. I felt so proud of myself...I didn't give birth how I planned, but all that didn't seem to matter. My little family of 3 was now I family of 5. A healthy family of 5. Awesome!

Better get going. Next on my blog...I thought I was on the road to being healthier, but of course this is me we are talking about so there was inevitably another bump in the road that threatened our release from the hospital. Also, we found out that Briar might have a health issue....

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Did you miss me?

Hello all! I am finally catching a spare minute to update my blog - which, frankly...are few and far between these days.

This post may be broken up into a few posts, depending on length and when I am summoned away by one of my beautiful babes. Oh, yes...the girls have arrived and we are settling into what is our new family/life.

I know my mom updated you all while I was in labor and it appears she did a pretty good job. Labor ended up lasting a total of 27 hours before it was decided to do a c-section. Obviously I wasn't thrilled that my plan of giving birth vaginally had been hijacked but as you will soon read, at the time, I wasn't in a position to really say anything.

It all started wonderfully, we were excited to be induced and the first hours, while it was annoying to constantly have a pill inserted behind my cervix and be stuck to the monitors, we were in pretty good spirits. I was told I could have the epidural at any point, but that I would be stuck in bed and I decided that I would put it off until labor was well on it's way. I was feeling some contractions, but not all of them and felt like I was doing a pretty good job at the laboring thing.

Unfortunately, things were just not going forward. They thought about putting in this other thinning medicine, but instead decided to go straight to the pitocin which would cause stronger contractions and hopefully get my body to do the rest of the work. The pitocin was started and I was ready for my epidural.

The first time they put the epidural in, it veered off track a little and didn't work, so they had to pull it out and do it again. OUCH! I wanted to cry but decided the pain I would feel during labor, would be worse than this epidural pain, so I endured. Finally, it was placed correctly and I was a really happy camper. They gave me the little clicker so I could administer more pain medicine whenever I deemed it was needed. I loved that little button...sadly, the pain returned after only an hour and a half and the anesthesiologist was called down to redose me. I was told that sometimes (especially with multiples) it can take one or two times to get the dosage right. For me, it was 4 times and it seemed like that damn epidural wore off about every 2 hours. I was told, that just happens sometimes. Mmmm-k, thanks, I love knowing that now!

At this point, I was off food, and limited to ice chips. I pestered my nurse into letting me have a drink and she relented, only to take it away from me after just 2 sips saying that she changed her mind and didn't want me to get sick. I didn't care for the nurse at that moment and basically asked my dr. when he came in, if I could have something to drink because my nurse wouldn't let me. She looked pissed and I instantly felt like a bitch, but I was really thirsty. The doc gave the ok and left. The nurse handed me my drink. I drank it. Ten minutes later I was throwing it up and telling the nurse she could say 'I told you so". She graciously declined and we were friends again.

The throwing up should have been my first clue that things weren't going as planned. I was still progressing 1 cm every 2 hours, so at this point we were still going full speed ahead. Then I developed a fever. The dr. was called in and because it was a low grade fever, told us that sometimes that happens in labor. I was still feeling nauseous and more and more flu like, but again, still progressing every 2 hours. Then around 7:00 pm things suddenly changed.

I told Bobby and my nurse that I really didn't feel good...that I felt like I had the flu. That the contractions weren't bothering me so much as feeling sick was. My nurse was very sympathetic and appeared a bit worried about my rising temperature, but it was time to do her report for shift change and I suspected that my new nurse would be the one dealing with my discomfort.

As Bobby and I are sitting there, waiting for my new nurse, I just keep telling him how awful I felt. I must have looked pretty bad because he looked really worried. I was throwing up, had a fever, and kind of felt like I was in and out of it a little. I must have drifted off to sleep, because the next thing I remember is one of my favorite nurses barging into the room. I told her hi and was glad she stopped by to see me, she smiled and said hi and that's when I realized that while we were making small talk she was shoving huge bags of ice under my arms and in between my legs. At some point my fever had hit about 103 and was rapidly climbing. The babies heart rates had gone up and wouldn't come back down. I asked her what was happening and she told me that they really needed to get my fever down and my blood pressure and heart rate were starting to rise as well.

After this, everything happened really fast...My doctor came in and checked my cervix. I had progressed, but the progression appeared to be slowing/possibly stalling - I was just barely 6 centimeters. He said they have used all their bags of tricks to try to give me a vaginal delivery, but that we were at an impasse and needed to move forward with a c-section due to the stalled labor and what might have been an infection from my membranes being stripped, rapidly moving throughout my body. I agreed to the c-section (surprisingly I agreed to this rather quickly and felt a bit relieved to see a light at the end of the tunnel). I asked how long until we would do the c-section and he said they were getting me ready right then and the babies would arrive within a half hour. Wow...that seemed kind of fast. He left. I cried.

Little ones need to eat. I'll continue the story at my next post :-)

Friday, February 19, 2010

FINALLY......But not as was planned!

Again you get to hear from guest blogger. I know, not near as humorous as Jennifer. That is why I am to give you just the bare details and Jennifer will be updating all of you with HER story in a few days.

The girls were delivered by c-section on February 17th. Emma Belle Sue Wilson was born at 8:24 pm, weighing 6lbs. 9 oz. and is 19 1/2 inches. Briar Anne Wilson was born at 8:26 pm, weighing 7 lbs. 10 oz. and is 19 inches long. Both have dark hair and if I say so myself are the most beautiful babies!

Jennifer got through it all just fine but I am sure her version will make you wonder how she was able to survive it all. She is pretty exhausted trying to recover while attending to nursing 2 babies. Not sure when she will be released but we all hope soon!!

Stay tuned for the rest of the story...................

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

22 Hours and Counting....

First of all this is a guest blogger for Jennifer, her mom. Jennifer is not in any position to be blogging right now. In fact, her postion is pretty horizontal right now. Needless to say things are not going as planned, and as you all have figured out by now is that Jennifer is a planner.

Yesterday was to start at 6:00 am and Jennifer and Bobby were anxiously waiting for the "show to begin". Several hours later they were still waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Shift changes resulted in varied opinions on how to proceed. Throughout the day she was monitored and checked several times. Progression was not happening and needless to say Jennifer was not a happy camper. Here is personal info so if you want you can skip to the next paragraph. Her cervix was 50% effaced and dilated to a little over 1.

They inserted stuff to help thin the cervix but did not happen. To do all of this they would monitor for 30 minutes, insert "thinner" and then Jennifer would have to lay on her back for 2 hours while the girls were being monitored. In Jennifer's words, "laying on my back hurts like hell, and baby B pushes up in my ribs".

In the afternoon, we moms arrived to 2 wornout parents to be, who were disillusioned that nothing was going as they had planned. Go figure that having babies would be out of one's control. As the afternoon turned to evening there was a definite holding pattern going on. The moms took Bobby to dinner and left Jennifer to rest. Of course, during that time, Jennifer experienced a huge contraction and it was all Bobby's fault for not being here. Just imagine her not being able to see the screen to judge how long it was, trying to reach for the nurse's button that Bobby had so carefully placed just out her reach. and having a pain that she places at an 8 on the scale of 1-10. Little does she know that they do get alot worse.

Oh, Jennifer told me to mention the torture bed. It is basically a flat piece of foam on hard wood that they use when women deliver in the room. One of the many nurses that they have gotten to know the past 20 days told them to request a better bed like she had in ante-partum. They did and like magic they got her one which was funny because everyone realized that she did not need the dreaded torture bed as she will be delivering in the operating room anyways. One of those "lightbulb" moments.

Nighttime resulted in a wait and see attitude, trying different things. The moms left to their motel hoping morning would bring exciting news. Nope, nothing except for the warning from Bobby that Jennifer had a bad night and to be careful. All I could envision was the girl in the Ex.or.cist .

After a brief visit the moms were "banished" (Jennifer's words) to the waiting area while she was examined, decisions were made, and procedures were administered. So here she is on Wednesday, February 17th. She has had her water broken and the pitocin started. They are increasing it every 15 minutes. Oh, and she did get her epidural. Thank goodness, she is in a much better mood.

We know that everyone is anxiously waiting to hear news and some of you are even caring so much that you are texting and asking for updates. Being a protective mom I am asking you to just think about that. Would you want to have your phone flash while you are in the midst of a contraction? I will update her blog as best I can so keep positive thoughts that the girls arrive sooner rather than later. Till then.......

Monday, February 15, 2010

18 days down, 1 to go

I have been in the hospital for 18 loooonnnngg days. But we are at the end, because tomorrow I will be 37 weeks and at 6am, they are starting my induction - woo hoo!

Today the dr. checked me out and I am dilated to a 1, 50% effaced and at a 3 station. So I still have quite a ways to go, but we are all pleased that at least my body has started to move in that direction, which will make the induction go a lot more smoothly (hopefully).

And it is a good thing that I am being induced because, while not moving overly quickly, my pre-e is advancing. I'm swollen, seeing wiggly lines and spots, and have some blood pressure readings that are a little out of control. For the sake of my health and the babies' health, it is time to get this show on the road.

I can't believe I am going to meet my little ladies tomorrow (or possibly Wed.). And I can't believe I will finally be allowed to go home - hallelujah!.

I am going to take one final pic of my belly during this pregnancy, and maybe toss in one or two of my hospital stay just for fun. So I'll probably post those tonight. Also, I will probably update at least once tomorrow, because I am told that I could be waiting a long time for labor to kick in and I will most likely be bored.

For now, I have a lunch date with my husband in the cafeteria and I do believe I am going to ride the AntePartum unit's Rascal to get there. (FYI, a rascal is a motorized chair thingy that mostly old people use to get see them often in grocery stores and

Friday, February 12, 2010

A little glimpse into my life at the hospital

First of all, I would like to apologize for some of my past posts. I went back and read some and the spelling and grammer is horrible! I really have no excuse other than laziness....Blogger has a spellcheck - but I guess sometimes I skip that step. So, sorry if you're happily reading along and notice that I make a blunder.

I've been asked by many people what it is like being on bedrest at the hospital. You know, things like what is your room like, what is your schedule like, etc.

So I thought I would address those questions today :-)

My room is pretty nice - it's located in the Antepartum area of the hospital, so all my neighbors are pretty much in the same boat I am, except most of them have come and gone already...and I still sit here and wait. If you've ever seen a labor and delivery room at a hospital, it is similar to that. Pretty roomy, I have a desk, a daybed, a large bathroom with a jetted tub, a tv with a vhs/dvd player and wireless Internet. My view is of downtown Spokane and ironically you can see you my IVF dr.'s office from here. Everything is brought to me (because most women can't leave their beds at all), so my admission forms, the nutritionist, the finance person, labs, etc. all come to my room.

My schedule pretty much looks like this:
6am: Dr. comes in for morning rounds to check in and make sure nothing has changed with me
6:30am: I get weighed
7am: If it is a Tuesday or a Friday, I get blood drawn
7:30am: My daytime nurse checks in with me and give me a pro.tonix for any reflux I may be
8am: Breakfast is served
8:30am: The babies and myself are put on the monitors for one hour - I used to like this time,
but now it just kills my back and feels a little bit like torture.
9:30am: Done with monitoring - woo hoo! I take a shower and pretty much take my sweet ass
time getting ready, because I don't really have much else to do.
10:30 - noon: I sometimes go for a walk, do laundry, refill my ice water, play on the
internet...any number of mindless activities....
Noon: Lunch time
1:30 or so: I tend to take a nap. You wouldn't think that sitting around would be tiring, but
regardless of what I am doing, these babies are still growing and that's hard work!
3:30: Sometimes I have visitors, sometimes I go for a walk, I talk to the nurses, read, etc.
5:00 - Dinner
6:00 - 8:30 - sheer boredom! Sometimes I catch up on phone calls during this time which helps
with the boredom. Sometime around 8:30, my dr. comes in to check on me.
8:30 - 9:30: Monitored and normally I am assessed by my night nurse.
10:30: I take my Am.bien and drift off to sleep...

Riveting stuff huh?

So there ya go. I'm on day 14 here (15 days total if you count the night I spent at Gri.tman). Only 5 days till induction...the countdown is on. And I think I can finally, finally say that I am ready to have these babies. If I were home and enjoying the end of this pregnancy, it would be another story. But this sitting and waiting is awful (not to mention uncomfortable), and at this point I am just ready to be done. Betcha never thought you'd hear me say that :-)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Still waiting around at the hospital

That's right folks, I am still here, on bed rest at the hospital. Only now, it's not really bedrest since most of my restrictions have been lifted and is suspiciously similar to the house arrest, er I mean "home rest" I was on before I came to the hospital.

It seems I am stable. Like really, really stable. So, now I have permission to sit in chairs, on the couch, go for walks up to 30 minutes. Heck, I am even allowed to walk outside of the hospital (but still on hospital grounds) if I want. Yep, that's right...I've been given the gift of fresh air. I was so excited about these new parameters that yesterday Bobby and I walked around for my half hour. We went down to the cafeteria, went to the gift shop, went outside on this little patio, and did a loop on my floor before going back to my room. Oh, yes it was freeing...but it was also a big mistake! Turns out when you've been sitting around on your ass for 3 weeks and doing nothing in the form of get a little sore carrying around the giagantic belly. So sore that today my groin and inner thigh muscles feel like I have just ran a marathon. Ouch. So, no walking for me today. Maybe tomorrow I will try to ease into it a little.

Being in the hospital is pretty much how you would picture it. Bobby comes and keeps me company for about 4 days and then has to go home. It's not too bad when he is here - he takes great care of me and helps me to stay entertained. There are some really great nurses here, but then there are nurses who completely suck - like the one I have today. The food is ok if I remember to order off the menu, otherwise I am stuck with some kind of dry meat covered in gravy. You would think remembering to order would be easy, but I have a serious case of the stupids and can't seem to remember to do anything. The are are amenities here, such as a "nourishment" room with juices, milks, snacks, etc. There is a craft room, with no crafts in it, but there are a bunch of old school vhs movies, magazines and a washer and dryer (which has been nice).

I can't remember what I have posted in the past so if this update is a little repetitive, bear with me...I have officially been scheduled for an induction. We will be induced on Feb.16th (next Tuesday). There was talk about doing an amnio to check their lungs and then induce me this week (week 36) but I couldn't help but wonder why they would do that when it could result in me giving birth to sick babies, when, if they just waited till week 37 the likelyhood of the babies being healthy jumps way up - I mean we are talking probably no NICU time what-so-ever. Luckily for me, one of the doctors mentioned this same thing in their meeting and it was decided that we would wait for week 37 and induce at that time. Woo Hoo! The did say if I go into labor, they won't stop me and there have been been a few signs that my body is working in that direction...I've been having contractions, although I'm still not feeling them. And (-k this is gross and TMI, so look away now while you have the chance) I have lost part of my mucous plug. Yep, both indicators that labor is looming.

I'm so excited to meet my little ladies and yes, getting a little anxious about the part where I actually have to push these babes out of my body. The thing that scares me most is delivering one only to end up with a c-section for the other. But I am trusting my gut and sticking to my guns with the vaginal birth. Hopefully it will be ok. I still have to be on the magnesium sulfate, which I am not super excited about. I've heard nasty stuff about that drug but again, since it's not optional I am trying to accept it and tell myself that it won't be that bad.

I haven't been able to measure my belly since I have been here, but I can say that I am still growing and growing. My skin is so tight on my belly that it feels like it is going to rip open - it is actually shiny in areas that are stretched to the max. No amount of lotion helps with the sensitivity. The babies have really been growing lately. I've gained 39 pounds with this pregnancy (yikes!)...the only positive thing is that the girls are trying to pack on those extra ounces everyday, so no matter how much I eat and sit around when I am here, it doesn't seem to make me gain any more weight - I've been holding steady at 39 lbs for a couple months now. I keep telling myself that after next week I am really going to have to change my eating habits, or I am going to have a big issue (LOL).

That's about it from me. We had an ultrasound today and finally got to see little Lefty's face, so I have attached a picture. She looks like she is kissing Righty's head and it appears she has chubby chipmunk cheeks - I love it! I promise to update again in a day or so, or if anything changes.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Hi everyone! So here are the promised pics - The first is a pic of me at 34 weeks, just before all this hospital business started.
The second is me at Sacred Heart in Spokane. You can see that I look a little tired from all the excitement. Oh, and that one is a real belly shot, because frankly the thing is so huge, sometimes showing it with my shirt over it just doesn't do it justice.
And finally, the last pic is of my beautiful Miss Righty. Her face is being smooshed by Lefty's arm, but you can kind of tell what she'll look like. And the ultrasound tech told us that while Lefty looks to have a little bit of straight hair, Righty looks like she might have some wavy hair - cute!

On another note, this hospital stuff sucks! Mainly because I wasn't really feeling any aches and pains before I became bed rest bound, but now my back hurts and because my girls are growing so great, my ribs are starting to separate to make room. Sometimes if you listen to my middle section while I move, you can hear the cartilage pop - gross and why would you listen to my middle section? But that's what's happening with me. I've been given Am.bien to help sleep at night (thank goodness) and if the pain gets really bad...although I am trying not to take the because I worry about the effects that it might have on the babies. Probably nothing to worry about, but still..........
Anyway, that's all for today. Hope you enjoy the pics.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Being held hostage at the, I mean, Bed restin' at the Hospital

Well, it looks like Sacred Heart will be my home until these babies make their arrival. We have been through craziness these past 6 days! Sometimes we thought we would be having the babies the next day, sometimes it looked like I might be able to make it to 36 weeks...everyday my labs were different and the Doctors had a different plan about how to proceed.

Bobby wins the best hubby award because he stayed with me the entire time (he went home today). He's the best caregiver and it was so nice to have his has been dragging on and already a bit lonely.

So, let's get right down to it. Basically what is happening is that my liver enzymes were crazy out of control. And they couldn't explain why, which is what really freaked them out. I am at a point where I have mild pre-eclampsia. And when I say mild, I mean I just barely have it, but it is very, very slowly progressing. I also have PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension). However, when the Dr.'s said that I would be induced in a day or two, I got freaked out...I didn't want my girls to spend time in the NICU and thought I would try to apply the Power of Positive thinking to get me out of this predicament. Well, I think it's working (Bobby says I'm on crack and that positive thinking can't possibly be making me better, but what does he know?). As of right now, my liver enzymes are almost back to normal. I've had several blood pressure checks and all are coming back normal or only slightly elevated, and the protein in my urine looks to be progressing at a snails pace, which is ok by me.

So, what does that mean? It means that now I am stable. Ah, stable! That sounds awesome if you ask me. However, since pre-eclampsia is the type of thing that could go really bad, really fast, they have decided to keep me here at the hospital on bedrest for the duration...which they hope will be 37 or 38 weeks. Yikes! That means I could potentially be here for 3 weeks - yuck! At least my bedrest isn't too strict. Don't get me wrong, it's stricter than I would like, but I'm not gonna complain. I need to stay in bed for most of the day, but I don't have to have the bed in the "lay down" position. I can sit in the glider while I eat, I can use the bathroom and take a shower everyday. I can also have someone take me on a 30 minute wheelchair ride, but only right after I am monitored and only if the monitoring goes ok. Oh, yes, the babies are monitored 3 times a day for an hour each time, my bp is checked at these times as well.

Is this ideal? No. But I'll do what I have to do. We toured the NICU, and I was totally fine until they took us to the pod that they have set up for our girls. For some reason, the fact that they are all ready to go in case our girls come early was not comforting to freaked me out - big time! So here's hoping I can keep chugging along and grow these babies a little longer.

I am relieved to know that they are on board with us trying for a vaginal birth, however when the time does come I am going to have to magnesium sulfate. Ewww. I heard that stuff is the worst, but I am at risk of have seizures because of the stupid pre-e so this is not optional.

I can't complain too much at things here. The nurses are fabulous. The food isn't the most terrible thing. I have my own room with a pretty nice view. The most annoying thing I've found is that every time a baby is born a bell chimes. Well, this is a big hospital and I swear about 20 babies are born every day, so that damn chime is always going off. It's like this endless line of women come in, have their baby and leave and I just get to sit in this bed - booo to that.

Ok, I am sure I will be posting more often, because...let's face it, what else have I got to do?

Oh, and on a completely different mom asked why sometimes in my blog there are random periods in the middle of words. For example, Ba.bies r u.s. By adding the periods, my blog doesn't come up on Go.ogle when people are searching for Babie.s r U.s. A little trick someone told me about :-)

I do have some pics to post, but blogger isn't letting me post anything, so I will try again tomorrow. They are of me at 34 weeks, me at the hospital in Spokane, and a beautiful picture of my little Miss Righty's face!

Till next time......

Saturday, January 30, 2010

A week of big changes

This past week has been a doozie! And when I say doozie, I mean it in every sense of the word.

Home rest had been going pretty well. I did all I could to ensure I was taking it easy, sitting and laying down and just generally resting. My first NST of the week, on Monday, went fine. The girls looked good and my bp was high but not as high as it had been.

I went to my appointment with my Doc on Wed. This too went pretty well. She said my bp was still high but my protein levels went down a bit so I wasn't quite pre-e, which was good. She wanted me to do a 24 hour urine test and to also get a blood pressure cuff for home so I could monitor my blood pressure while resting. I said no problem.

Thursday morning I was supposed to have my ultrasound but the tech was sick and it was rescheduled for Friday. So I waited around my house all day and in the afternoon, I went in for my NST. Had I know that would be the last time I would be at my house for awhile, I would have picked up, finished packing my hospital bag, or at least given a good attempt at shaving my legs. But I can't predict the future, so instead, I threw on some clothes, combed my air-dried and "not very cute at the moment hair", and headed into Moscow.

When I got to the hospital, I gave them my urine from the past 24 hours - ewwww, and I got hooked up for my NST. The NST went great, and while I was waiting to be released someone from the lab came in to draw my blood. I told the nurse I was ready to go after that and she informed me that I had to wait for my doc to come and talk to me after they got the test results. So I waited, and waited. Bobby came in and kept me company and then the Doc came in and told me the test results came back unfavorable, my liver enzymes were very high and that was concerning. They wanted me to stay the night for monitoring and another urine test, this time a 12 hour test and then we would talk about whether or not I needed to be transferred to Spokane...scary!

So I stayed the night at G.ritman. My first time ever to stay the night in a hospital. I was crabby and I didn't like it. They gave me an Ambi.en to help me sleep. Thank Goodness. The next morning, Bobby met me back at the hospital and we awaited the results. My doc came in and told us that she had talked to the Docs in Spokane and they agreed that it would be best if I were transferred to Spokane. Bobby went home to pack some bags and his mom hung out with me at the hospital while I awaited transfer. Bobby came back just before they were loading me into the Me.d S.tar ambulance and he told me he would follow right behind us. So off we went to Spokane, where I am currently residing.

When I first got here it looked like I would just be on bed rest until I reached 36 weeks and then they would send me back down to Moscow. Unfortunately that good news didn't last long. After doing a bunch of tests of their own, the Dr.'s here are "worried" about me and now it appears we will most likely induce in the next couple of days. There is a big long story about why, but basically, although I feel completely fine, it appears I am getting sicker (liver enzymes, high bp, possible pre-e, etc.). So they are monitoring me here, doing tons of tests, and just trying to hold me out for another day or two to give these babes a couple more days in utero. Is this scary? Yeah, a little. But I did the best I could, and these babies are still's just me that is having issues.

Speaking of the babies...I finally did get an ultrasound today - yay! And these babes look so great. While the measurements could have a margin of error of up to 20%, I thought I would share the most recent info we have on them. Lefty weighs in at 5 lbs and 14 oz and Righty weighs in at a whopping 7 lbs 4 oz. That's right, one of my babies is a giant :-) These numbers are great! The fluid levels are great, they are both head down, everything is really good as far as they are concerned. Oh, and Lefty looks like she has a little bit of hair. The tech asked Bobby how tall he was because both girls look like they have long legs. Guess they might have gotten his genes in that area.

I am getting excited to meet these little ones, but I hope my body will stay healthy enough to at least get them to 35 weeks and a couple of days. Even if they induce tomorrow or the next day, it could take a day or 2 for me to actually go into labor, so we're a couple days away at least. Of course there is always the possibility of having to have an emergency c-section, but I am trying to use the power of positive thinking to help ensure that won't happen.

I'm sorry that this isn't a humorous blog and I'm sorry if it was more of a rambling than giving good information about what is going on. I'm exhausted from all the goings on the past couple days, and wish we knew more concretely what was going to happen (I'm a planner as you all know). But I am trying my best to roll with the punches and just praying that if we deliver early my girls won't have to have NICU time. I'll update again when I know more and when I have more energy.

Till then.....

Friday, January 22, 2010

Son-of-a-%$@#& ! (*warning...long post!)

Yep, I said it. And I'll say it again...along with a few other choice words.

So here's the deal. I'm living my life, in pregnancy bliss. Loving how great I feel, loving the compliments on how great I'm doing, bragging about how great I feel...because, hey..I'm pregnant with twins and I made it to 33 weeks, and I've had no real complications and blah blah blah blah blah.

I think what happened is I got cocky. Yep, I'm pretty sure the universe decided that I was a little to big for these big belly britches and decided to knock me down a notch or two.

You are probably starting to wonder what the heck happened, and with good reason because I could continue this rant for quite awhile and that wouldn't be nice because I know that you are all in the dark on my newest development, so here's the story:

I went in to my Dr. appt. yesterday. No ultrasound this week; just the quick check in to see how wonderful I am doing and to bask in all the praise that my Doc was certainly going to bestow on me.

Then....eeeerrrrrch! (That would be everything coming to a halt). My Doc asks if there is anything I might want to discuss or mention that is new. Well, come to think of it, the other day when I walked up the stairs I saw these squiggly lines for a few minutes after...and actually that's been happening about once a day for the past week. hmmmm.....also, my ankles are getting ridiculously swollen and even a very restful night sleep isn't helping them like my pregnancy bible says it should. hmmmmmm....So she asks about my shortness of breath. (I had some shortness of breath at my NST earlier this week and had blood taken to rule some things out). I told her I'm really only short of breath when I am lying down and am pretty sure it's the weight of the babies that's doing it to me. hmmmmmm....'s time to stop hmmmmmming and start talking lady!

So, turns out my blood work from earlier in the week was mostly fine but did show I am having an underactive thyroid issue. No biggie, just need to start popping a pill for that one. Can do. Next?

There is concern because when I got to my appointment the bottom # of my blood pressure was elevated. This was concerning because I've been like the poster child for good blood pressure this whole pregnancy and when you add in my info about the squiggly lines plus the swelling that won't go away, it starts to look suspicioulsy like pre-eclampsia. Boo to that. I am at risk for pre-e because this is my first pregnancy, I am having twins, and there is a little bit of a family history there. Yay - 3 for 3 for me. The shortness of breath is concerning because it could mean the extra fluid in my body is getting into my lungs. So just to be sure everything is A-ok, she sends me to the hospital for an NST, urine and blood tests. was gonna be pizza night and snuggling with my little family on the couch. I'm not happy to have to go start tests at 5pm but I'm also a little concerned about the babies so I do what I am told and head over to the hospital.

Yesterday was a day for babies in Moscow to be born. Every stinkin room was full when I got to the hospital so they put me in a back room that was a fine room I s'pose but it sort of looked like the hodge podge/overflow room and I know from experience all of the rest of the rooms are much nicer. Ok, so maybe at this point I'm feeling a little irritable. I dont' want to be there, I'm tired and frankly the fact that I even have to have all these tests makes me feel a little like a failure. I was doing so well, and I know it's all out of my control, but I sucked at getting pregnant...I don't want to suck at being pregnant too!

I get hooked up to the monitors. Lefty is really far back so they have to tighten the heck out of her monitor which made things uncomfortable. But then the nurse starts my NST, sets me up with water and all that, then tells me the lab will be in to take my blood shortly (oh, I gave a urine sample right when I got there, so that was already taken care of). I wait...I text my friend Nicole, I text my sister, I call Bobby and assure him that the babies are not going to be arriving right then and tell him there is no need for both of us to be bored at the hospital so he should just stay home. Then I wait some more. My back is killing me...I adjust the bed and look longingly at the pillow across the room that would be heaven on earth if it would gravitate towards my bed and place itself behind my back.It's been an hour...Bobby has called twice, freaked out. -K, love the man, but they are checking my blood pressure every few minutes so don't be all freaked out because that freaks me out and there is no hiding it on the machine. Oh, and btw at this point my blood pressure is nestling in a scary high range that I was not at all comfortable with. Freakin nurse...where is she? I try to will the pillow over and seriously contemplate unstrapping all the monitors because my back hurts, I'm tired and hungry and nobody has checked on me for the last hour because all these damn babies are being born and I'm not the priority at that moment. (huff!).

Anywho, just as I am sure that I am about to have a massive freak out, the nurse walks in all cheery "how are we doing"? Ummm we? WE aren't doing so hot. WE have the mother of all backaches and WE are starving because it has now been nearly 7 hours since WE have eaten. Did I tell her this? No. I said, please can I have that pillow behind you - actually it was more of desperate plea than a request. "Oh, right...sorry, I should have given this to you earlier". Yeah, yeah you should've. She puts the pillow behind my back and it is quite possibly the most wonderful thing I have felt in months. Pure bliss. Then, in walks Bobby. He decided to come to the hospital after working it out for his parent's to watch Connor. I felt bad that he would be bored with me, but was so happy to not be alone and helpless anymore.

So, the babies look awesome. No problems with them - I passed my NST with no contractions. I was not anywhere near pre-term labor and the babies were really active which is great. The nurse got permission to take me off the monitors and I finally was able to sit up - yay! Then she says we just have to wait for a lab person to come in to take my blood. I chug the water they had given me. A Nursing assistant (who is the nicest person ever) brings Bobby a soda and asks if we want food. I'm feeling a little yucky now because all the weight in my belly (ie babies) are re-adjusting as I stand up, so I pass on the food. Idiot! Had I known we would be there for 3 more hours I would have not passed on the food.

We wait for an eternity and finally my blood is drawn. I'm irritated and just want to go home. Bobby is giddy at all the babies being born and keeps walking in the hallway like a looky-loo so he can hear them and possibly see some of them. It was kind of like a practice run for labor I suppose.

Anyway, we wait another hour and finally my Doctor comes in with a nurse. (she had just finished delivering 3 babies, so I didn't feel right about telling her how long we were waiting - that would just seem insensitive I think).

-K, this paragraph might have a little TMI - read only if you like knowing way too much about me.
So turns out I don't have pre-e...yet. It could develop. And they want me to do a 24 hour urine test. I am given a hat (this plastic thing that goes in the toilet for collection) and a jug. I'm to collect every drop of urine for the next 24 hours, pour into jug, keep cool and take back to them exactly 24 hours later. Eeeewww, but do-able.

I'm happy that I don't have pre-e. My Doc says that they are just classifying it as pregnancy induced hypertension for now and will know more after my 24 hour urine test. I feel ok with this. BUT, she wants me to have these 2 shots of steriods that will help develop the babies' lungs in case they have to deliver me within the next week or so. Well, that's not re-assuring at all. I get the shot and it hurts like a mo-fo. We joked that Bobby should give it to me and I kind of wish he had because the nurse showed no mercy and I know from experience there is a gentler way to do it.

Here I am thinking we dodged a bullet, and then my Dr. says the words I do not want to hear. She knows I don't want to hear them and warns me they are coming....REST AT HOME. YOU ARE DONE WORKING!
Hmmm.. so just to clarify, am I on bedrest? No...we're calling it home rest (which is nice way of saying modified bedrest). I have to stay home, rest/relax. I am allowed to sit in a chair, but also need to lay down on the couch or bed from time to time. I can shower, make lunch, but cannot do laundry or really any cleaning of any kind. I am allowed to take a trip or two out of my house weekly, mostly to Dr. appts, but that's about it. I really thought I would make it through without bedrest, and I know it could be a lot worse, so I am choosing to stay with the name "home rest" and I will fight you to the death if you insist that I am indeed on bedrest. Let me live in my denial a bit longer.

I then ask about a million questions about working and am told in specific terms that I am absolutely done going into to work. I can work on my computer but with lots of breaks (at my house, not office). I asked if that was going to start right then or if we were waiting on more test results and she laughed and said it was starting right then. No more working at my office. Ok. Got it.

She told me that I really need to take this seriously because if we can control my high blood pressure with rest, that would be the best solution (I should mention she tends to be overly cautious, which is good because all of her twin mommies have made it really far in their pregnancies). And she mentioned that I could choose not to take it seriously and end up in the hospital on full bed rest. Nope, that's not ok with me. I will be following Dr.'s orders. She informs me that if the babies need delievered before 36 weeks, they will transfer me to Spokane. That also is not ok with me. I think at this point I was scared enough to follow instructions to the T.

She then says that she is sending in an internalist to check on my shortness of breath. So we wait....for another hour! Finally the internalist comes in. She said things looked pretty good, but there is a chance that the fluid from my ankles is going into my lungs when I lay down and then overflowing and dilating my heart or something like that...I am now like 9 hours without food and really tired. Apparently this is not a good thing to be happening, but isn't very common either. She decided I would need an echocardiogram to rule that out. I am scheduled for that at 3pm today and then I have to go back at 8pm to drop off my sample and get my second steriod shot. Fun day for me.

I will post any news as it comes about, wether it's a week from now or tomorrow. I have NST's on Monday and Thursday, a Dr. appt on Wed (I'm going weekly now...maybe twice weekly if things continue to go downhill) and an ultrasound on Thursday morning.

I am grateful that the issues are with me and not the babies, but just hope resting at home is enough to make them stay put for at least 3 more weeks.

Sorry for the long post. Check back often for appears I may have a little time on my hands :-)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Finally, finally finished with the babies' room....well mostly

Sorry I've been a bit absent. I think I was in a blogging rut this past week. My life has sort of been a bit "ground-hog day-ish" and I didn't feel I had anything to write about that would interest anyone.

You know what I mean...went to both NST's and they were fine. Well, technically during my first one, I had 2 contractions. But I didn't feel these contractions (they had to tell me that I had them) and said that they were very little and that they pretty much weren't going to count them as "real" contractions. Then the next NST...nothing. Everything went smooth.

My carpal tunnel is getting better - it only bothers me on some days, not every day. Heartburn is gone...kaput...went away. I thought this was because it was just a phase so I stopped taking my prescribed meds and the Zan.tac and it came back with a vengeance, so as long as I keep up with the heartburn/reflux meds, I am a-ok.

I am growing by the minute. Have you every had a plant that you could watch and you would swear that as you were watching it, it was growing before your very eyes? Well, that plant is me. And when you grow as fast as I do, people start to think you are about to go into labor at any moment, thus treating you like you are a time bomb just waiting to go off. A little annoying actually. I mean, I love that people care...but I still have some time to cook these little babes, and it feels like everyone around me is on high alert.

Let's see...anything new? Oh....I have had this weird craving for icy things. Mostly like really icy fruit smoothies. Not the thick as a milkshake kind, but more of the kind that tastes like a summer slushy (or something similar to an Ju.lius). And if I can't find a yogurt smoothie to this specification, a good old fashioned glass of crushed ice does the trick. I am constantly munching on ice...I need it, like peanut butter needs jelly. Is it a weird craving? Most likely, but it hits the spot.
I am outgrowing my maternity clothes. The pants all fit fine but my shirts are getting pretty short. My belly hangs out the bottom - classy. But I am close to the end that I don't want to buy more tops, so I put a tank underneath or the belly band. It doesn't look exactly great, but for the shorter shirts, it is a must. Also, I am pooped. Like really, really tired. I wake up feeling great...energized even. But once the clock hits 1pm, it is all down hill. I have to limit the trips up and down the stairs in our house, because it wears me out too much and the next day I literally won't be able to walk if I take too many trips. The belly is a lot to carry around!

Anywho, this past weekend my parents made the trek up to our house to help us get things ready. Bobby and my dad built shelves and stuff for the babies' closet and put together the cribs and then I made everyone rearrange the babies' room no less than 30 times before I finally found I way that I liked it set up - something I am certain would not have been permitted if I weren't pregnant with these little girls....I'm milking it while I can :-)

My mom and I washed all the babies clothes, blankets, etc and organized all the little baby items. Then my mom painted some super cute flowers on the walls to match the bedding. It looks great (there are pics at the bottom of the blog). It was so nice to have the help and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that the babies have a place to come home to.

That's about it....the weekend was very busy and I spent most of today napping because I think it wore me it. Oh, but on a funny side note...we went to for dinner and the hostess went to seat us at this booth. I looked at the booth and thought, no way will I fit in there, and sure enough, the belly would not fit. Awesome. I mean, what I self esteem booster, really.

I asked her if we could sit somewhere else because I wouldn't fit in the booth and she looked at me like I had just asked her for her first born. I then demonstrated just how much I wouldn't fit and she went to "see what she could do". (Meanwhile, my family is getting a big kick out of the massive belly not being able to be shoved into this tiny booth)She came back and seated us in a corner booth that was much roomier. It was a little embarrassing, but c'mon, look at my belly - why on earth would you try to squeeze us into your smallest booth? sheeeeesh!

This week is busy, busy. I have an NST on Tuesday and Friday and my regular Dr. appt on Thursday. Here's hoping everything keeps going well! I've added some pics this time. A few of the babies' room and then one of the belly. I know I look really hot in my belly make-up, I had just woken up...pretty much in desperate need of a shower, and I am glad I get to share it with all of you :-)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Burning, burning, burning...

...that is what is happening in my body right now. An intense burning/reflux situation that seriously needs to get under control before I completely lose my mind. We're not talking about a little heartburn here people. We are talking about a full on attack on my body. It's like there are little warrior men in my esophagus with tiny bows and arrows...only the arrows aren't just arrows, they have fireballs on the end and are being shot all up and down my insides from my stomach to my throat.

I'm currently taking Za.ntac for this horrendous pain, but since that wasn't even making a dent, my Dr. prescribed another little something that should help. I say should because I took it about 20 minutes ago and it has yet to make it's sanity saving debut. I want to cry...

On to other things...I had my ultrasound and appointment today. My ultrasound went great. Sadly I didn't get to see little faces again - there is no room in there and I think the days of seeing my little babes profiles are long gone. I did get to see both of their bellies and it was amazing because they are now breathing. There was something so awe-inspiring about watching those little bellies move in and out...I could have stared at it all day.

The girls are measuring really good. Lefty is at 31 weeks and 1 day (which is exactly what I am today). She weighs 3 lbs 9 oz. Righty is at 32 weeks and 2 days (hubba hubba) and she weighs 4 lbs and 4 oz. It appears they are snuggled up together pretty closely and it also looks like Righty might turn out to be Baby A because she is making a serious run for the finish line. The Dr. honestly doesn't know which will decide to come out first. There was a little concern because Righty has such a large tummy. Not a concern about her being healthy, more of a concern of whether or not she will come out very easily. The C-section talk was brought up and I discussed it with my Dr. She told me that we can try for a "natural" birth, but just wanted me to know all the scenarios that would cause us to have to have a c-section (and there are a lot!). I felt good after our conversation because I know she understands how important NOT having a c-section is to me. Oh and both girls are still head down, so that's in my favor.

All in all, things are looking good. Cervix is long and closed, no pre-term contractions, still feeling pretty good. I had to laugh because when she measured my uterus I asked how big it was and she told me I am measuring at 42 weeks. Mmmm-K...for those of you a little slow at the math, that would be the same as someone carrying 1 baby who is 2 weeks past their due date. I suddenly felt very validated for how tired I have been lately. Because between the roughly 8 lbs of baby I am carrying and my uterus measuring at the whopping 42 weeks, I would say I have a right to be a wee bit tired from time to time.

I asked when I would start my weekly appointments and she told me as long as nothing comes up, I won't start those until 35 weeks. I thought oh, ok...but then later I was thinking about it and that's only 1 month away. Wow time is flying by really fast now.

Let's see...what else? I have mastered the prego waddle. I'm not sure when it happened, but there is definitely a waddle there. I am starting to embrace my stretch marks. They are popping up all over my lower belly. And I'm assuming it won't be long till they show up above my belly button because my skin is really sensitive and feels like it literally can't stretch anymore. I will post another belly picture next week (at 32 weeks). Bobby says I am growing by the hour. I still don't think I look that big, but I guess I am just getting used to it.

Non-stress test tomorrow. These are going great. No contractions and now I no longer have to push the little game show button, so I have been getting some good naps. I don't mind these little tests as much as I thought I would in the beginning. The front desk person knows me now and has all my registration stuff ready, so all I have to do when I get there is sign a piece of paper and get my wristband. Plus I am getting to know all of the nursing staff which I think will be beneficial when I actually have these babies because by then, they should all know me.

Any tips on heartburn/reflux reduction, staying comfortable when you are HUGE, getting rid of cankles, or really any other advice is more than welcome. I would love for these last weeks to be as great as possible and I am willing to learn from what others have to say :-)

Till next week (when I will be 32 weeks - WOW!).....