I have heard this question no less than 100 times since we found out that there is possibly (and most likely) 3 babies.
I kind of find this questions hilarious. What do you mean what are we going to do? It's not like we're in high school and accidentally got pregnant. But some people ask this question with such exasperation you would think that we were in some sort of horrible predicament that needed fixed right away. We wanted to be pregnant. And we always wanted a big family, so 4 kids is ideal for us. Were we ever planning on the majority of them being born at the same time...no. But there is something so exciting about knowing we are going to have this big family. The chaos, the noise, the commotion...these are actually things that appeal to us. We love the thought of all the kids rushing in to see what they got from Santa...or crazy family road trips where everyone gets on each other's nerves, but we look back remembering it was a good trip because we all got to be together. Are 3 babies a predicament? No....3 babies are a blessing - a surprise blessing that took me awhile to get on board with, but now that I am I'm getting excited for this large family we are going to have.
So anyway, back to the "what are you going to do" question. Most of the time I am asked this, it is followed with a specific...for example, What are you going to do about:
- your job?
- your car?
- your house - do you have room for 3 babies?
- breastfeeding? Can you even make enough milk for 3 babies?
- leaving the house - how will you manage?
I think I'll address the above because they are the most commonly asked (although we have had some doozies that are much too private to even repeat on this wonderful blog)
- Job. I plan to keep working. I was thinking about staying home but health care for a family of 6 is pretty expensive and let's be totally honest here...I think I am going to need a little adult time, a little "away from the babies time"...so I am looking at doing a reduced schedule at work so I can hopefully have the best of both worlds. (that is assuming I will still have a job after Dec. 17th)
- Childcare. Well this is interesting. I thought I had this all figured out until my current childcare person just informed me that her husband got a promotion and they are moving to Pocatello in the next couple of weeks. Boo to that. Luckily, one of my neighbors is taking over my former person's business, which is actually more convenient because she is only 3 doors down, absolutely fabulous, and will continue the preschool program that Connor and the 3 other children were doing. Problem solved for Connor. The babies are getting a nanny. That's right people, we're breaking down and hiring a nanny. I just think in the end it will be easier to have them at our house and frankly it actually comes out to be a bit cheaper than childcare. Plus, this will give Connor a break from babies all the time, which I am sure he will be thanking me for.
- Your Car. I am so sad to say this...but it's time I told you all...Bobby has brought it up time and time again, and I simply can no longer ignore him. It's the "M" word. I know...I don't want to say it anymore than you want to hear it. But the reality is, a mmmmmminivan is the easiest car to get 4 car seats in and out of. It's easy to maneuver to the back seat if a baby is crying, or throws up, etc. An SUV with a third row seat just doesn't have the same convenience, trust me...I've tried looking at them all. I have at least convinced Bobby to wait to buy one until the babies are actually here, so there's still time to come up with another plan. I'm open to suggestions :-)
- Money. Who knows? We're not rich, but we're not poor either so I think the money thing will just kind of work itself out. Yes things will cost more, but we have wiggle room in our budget so I think we are going to be a-ok. Of course if this is a worry of yours and thinking about how we are going to afford this large family is keeping you up at night, then by all means, send us some money...if that will make you feel better, I will gladly accept it. Anything to ease your mind and help you sleep better.
- Our house...do we have room for 3 babies? Our house is plenty big, although if I have my way we will be adding a great room in the next couple years. Our house is slightly over 2600 square feet. This isn't huge, but it's not tiny by any means. We have 4 bedrooms right now with the possibility of 5 or 6 if we want to give up our rather large storage space or Bobby's man's room. The babies will share a room for at least 2 or 3 years. This is what all the experts say to do and who am I to argue with the experts. Luckily for us one of our extra bedrooms is fairly large so 3 cribs, an armoire, a bed for me, a changing table and enough loot for 3 babies should fit just fine.
- Breastfeeding. Yes I plan to breastfeed if it works out. Not in the traditional sense...at least I don't think so, and frankly I am not even sure how that is possible without spending every second of every day feeding someone...but I do plan to pump and pump and pump. I'm going to supplement with formula when needed. Connor was a formula baby and he is really healthy and very smart, so I'm not one of those who is against formula. This is just what feels right to me. Plus that way lots of other people can help me feed these little ones and I might actually have time to take a shower at some point.
- Leaving the house...how will you manage? Well, this is tricky and in theory I think I have it worked out. My brother knows someone who has triplets and they have graciously given us their triple stroller. Awesome! But I also think that if I always strap one to me with our baby bj.orn then I can push 2 in a double stroller (Connor can ride his bike) if we're just going for a walk. If we are out and about? I think I might need a helper. But the day I manage to make it out with all 4 kids (3 infants) you will all hear about it because I do believe that might be one of my proudest days.
- Sanity. Well, let's just say I am not sure I will make it through this with my sanity completely intact. I do know that I am married to the calmest person in the world, who doesn't freak out about very much. I think he will help me keep my sanity in check. Our lives will be crazy and chaotic but really anyone that has kids knows that time goes by so fast...before we know it these little ones will be independent toddlers and our oldest will be in school. When I think about how fast time has gone by with Connor, and then I think about these babies...I want to enjoy every second because they are only babies for a short time.
I hope that answers some of the looming questions people might have. I will of course be updating on Friday. My appointment/ultrasound is first thing in the morning, so at least I don't have to wait all day. Oh, and I think after my appointment, I will finally announce this pregnancy to work and the rest of the world (although I reserve the right to change my mind about that).